Free Markets, Free People

Barely Legal

surf-beaver

Talk about the government getting all up in someone’s business:

Things could get hairy in New Jersey this summer for women who sport revealing bikinis or a little bit less.

The painful Brazilian wax and its intimate derivatives are in danger of being stripped from salon and spa menus if a recent proposal to ban genital waxing is passed by the state’s Board of Cosmetology and Hairstyling.

[…]

New Jersey statutes allow waxing of the face, neck, arms, legs and abdomen, but officials say that genital waxing has always been illegal, although not spelled out.

Regardless, almost every salon in South Jersey, from Atlantic City casinos to suburban strip malls, has been breaking the law for years by ridding women, and some men, of their pubic hair for $50 to $60 a session.

Jeff Lamm, a spokesman for New Jersey’s Division of Consumer Affairs, said that the proposal would specifically ban genital waxing, and was prompted by complaints to the board from two women who were injured and hospitalized. One of them sued. Lamm said that the state only investigates infractions if consumers complain.

beachbeaver2
What happened to “keep your hands off my body”? If the government can dictate the size and shape of the drapes, what’s to stop it from taking over the whole womb room? It’s not as if the rights of the unshorn are at risk here. In addition, there is a legitimate concern for where women will turn if they lose the right to freely control their bare necessities:

Cherry Hill salon owner Linda Orsuto said that women would “go ballistic” if the proposal passed. She said that some women would resort to waxing themselves, visiting unlicensed salons or traveling to other states, including Pennsylvania, in a quest to remain bare down there.

“The clients are going to freak,” said Orsuto, who owns 800 West Salon & Spa, on Route 70. “It’s a hot issue, and we’re going to have to do something.”

Scary. If the government camel insists on sticking its nose under Jersey girls’ skirts, can back-alley bush removal with rusty razors be far behind? beach-beaver

Now, I understand that some aficionados of adult entertainment from the 70’s might be excited about the return of a tufted tarts and piliferous punani. But that sort of hirsute protectionism treads dangerously upon our most cherished freedoms, and will potentially lead to messy entanglements from which we will find it hard to extricate ourselves (think “velcro”).

Accordingly, I stand firmly behind the women of New Jersey and fully support their rights to depilate as they see fit, with the advice and counsel of their salon professional. So say it loud, ladies, in all your glabrous glory: “We’re bare! Down there! And we’re proud!”

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27 Responses to Barely Legal

  • Admit it…

    You have an innuendo generator on your computer…

  • Here comes the underground waxing market.  I guess the next step is to make people fill out forms and show ID before they buy waxing products.

    • From the story:

      “The state is probably just looking out for the residents’ best interest, but they’ll have to enforce it.”

      I suspect the beach patrol will set up a hair net … [/rimshot]

  • There is just so many levels of wrong with this piece.

  • What happened to ‘NO MORE BUSH!’

  • I can’t stop laughing.  

  • Bruce;

    You, perhaps, are not as used to getting daily… more correctly, nightly… updates out of New Jersey as I, given I’m within earshot of the NYC news stations, such as  WCBS, WABC WOR, WBBR and so on, and they’re just out of reach (I think) for you. (Although WSB was simply pounding in here last night, so who knows, this time of year?) 

    Based on what I’m hearing from those sources,  Corzine is in the fight of his political life just now. That NJ Dems insist on wasting cycles on this stuff is amazing to me. Then again, as I recall, Corzine is folicularly challanged.

     

    • Eric – you’re going to have to slow down and read the author byline a little more carefully.  It is not I talking about “tufted tarts and piliferous punani” (Michael, I coughed up a lung laughing at those – well done).

  • You deserve a bloggy for this.  Or whatever award they give for excellence in hillarity.

  • The pictures are truly inspired as well…

  • If they want to stop anything in NJ, they should really start by outlawing these guys

  • Government can’t grab you by the short curly hairs if you don’t have any.
    Which is why they need a law.
    Maybe they will then place a tax on removal based on quantity.
    Or try claiming  no hair down there causes global warming.

    REPEAL THE PUBIC BAN!

  • It is not I talking about “tufted tarts and piliferous punani”

    Well, about that…. The author’s name doesn’t show in the header if you come direct into the post, as one would enter from an RSS reader., though it does show on the main page.  (And in your Q&O’s case, in the tags… nice idea)  Anyway,  since you’ve been a busy little beaver today, posting every other dam thing, I figured it was you. My bad. 
    I noted the same naming thing about my CSS a while ago and trimmed it up nicely.  You may want to suggest Dale do the same.

    innuendo = An Italian Suppository.

  • clearly those are free range beaver. :)

  • People actually pay  strangers to rip out their pubic hair? Individually or all at once? Is this some form of pennance? An initiation ritual?

  • Iranian children’s program

    A show host announced the boy had won a toy monkey for behaving himself. Then the host asked the boy, “What is this monkey’s name?” The boy said, “Well, my father calls him Ahmadinejad.”

    Show Canceled by IRIB, Iran’s state broadcaster

  • The Board of Cosmetology met on 3/10 with new position paper provided by The New Jersey Association of Salon and Spa professionals (ASSP) and after review, still votes “no” on the issue of legalizing brazilian waxing!

    Feuza Reis, Business Development Manager of Jaira’s Salons, South Amboy and South River, took action knowing the Board of Cosmetology was going to meet in March of 2009.
    She contacted the Chair of the Association of Salon and Spa Professionals to discuss the issue and the outcome was a position paper that was sent to the Board of Cosmetology to educate them on the issue and the socio-economic effects for their closed meeting on 3/10. The outcome was NO – they voted to uphold the current rules and regulations.

    After the decision, Feuza Reis, again contacted the ASSP and got the form letter created go to http://www.jairasbrazilianwax.com and download, sign and mail or fax to Attorney General’s Office.

    Spa and Salon owners are losing millions of dollars in revenue, the State of New Jersey is losing revenue and women are losing their rights to chose a salon service that you can get in any other state across the country!

    Please help us get the word out!

  • Heh!

    Don’t forget this is New Jersey, where you can’t stop at a gas station and pump your own gas.

  • Wonder if this is related…  From the Drudge Report

    Woman held for eating friend…