Free Markets, Free People

One Day At The OnionTM

Dale forwarded me a link to this story from the Onion, which is a bit of a departure from their typical, non sequitur, off-the-wall sort of schtick:

More than a week after President Barack Obama’s cold-blooded killing of a local couple, members of the American news media admitted Tuesday that they were still trying to find the best angle for covering the gruesome crime.

“I know there’s a story in there somewhere,” said Newsweek editor Jon Meacham, referring to Obama’s home invasion and execution-style slaying of Jeff and Sue Finowicz on Apr. 8. “Right now though, it’s probably best to just sit back and wait for more information to come in. After all, the only thing we know for sure is that our president senselessly murdered two unsuspecting Americans without emotion or hesitation.”

Added Meacham, “It’s not so cut and dried.”

There are some who seem to think that, with this article, the Onion has delivered a withering critique of the media in this country. According to that view, by suggesting that the MSM would have difficulty figuring out exactly how to report a gruesome double homicide, the Onion is poking fun at the MSM’s reluctance to cover the perceived foibles of our president. But I don’t see it that way at all.

I condemn this article. How repulsive for the Onion to treat the most respected politician in the world as a foil in some stupid joke about the press. Even if in jest, it is simply beyond the pale to equate the president with a serial killer. Anyway, don’t they know that serial killers are all white (except for the one or two that aren’t)? Which reminds me, this article is also racist. Racists!

Besides the vile, racist, inhuman treatment of our president, it is absolutely ludicrous to think that the MSM isn’t holding Obama’s feet to the fire. Who told them to say that? Rush Limbaugh? O’Reilly? Haven’t they heard of Jake Tapper? And then there’s … um … racists!

Furthermore, it is unacceptable that the Onion could write such an article when it never once called out Bush for his lies, deceit and actual murder. I mean where was all the ribald comedy when our last president was ruthlessly killing innocent women and children just to line the pockets of his Halliburton buddies? Where were the protests? Why didn’t the Onion write about that?

In closing, I want to point out that our press is doing a fine job of covering the important issues and the difficult choices President Obama faces. The Onion should be ashamed of attacking him and his hagiographers reporters. As proof of their unquestionable skill and journalistic acumen, I leave you with this footage of the White House Press Corps doing what they do best. I trust this will settle the argument once and for all:

Visit for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Oh, and uh … RACISTS!

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11 Responses to One Day At The OnionTM

  • gaaack! (re: the video)

  • Wake up, sheeple! Can’t you see it’s all a conspiracy?!? Obama not only killed those people and it’s being covered up, he’s going to contaminate our precious bodily fluids!

    And I hear the drone of the helicopters. They’re coming! I can see them off on the horizon! No, wait, that’s just a flock of birds. But you just wait! They’ll be here soon!

    I always knew my posting entries at QandO would get me in trouble as a rightwing extremist. Now I have to be prepared for anything. Please excuse me while I go check my food stockpiles. I understand CostCo has a sale on 50lb bags of rice.

  • I just love that the dog was black and white.  It’s so reminiscent of this song.

  • Advice for aspiring satirists: Sarcastic hyperbole is not clever or witty

  • Why would anyone wish to be an aspiring satirist when sarcastic hypebole is so much more direct?

  • Florack’s rule number 3: It’s only funny if there’s a grain of truth somewhere near the center of it.

  • this is the lamest thing pedro has read all week. and pedro read friedman.

    • I am surprised.  I had gotten the impression that reading was an ability beyond your reach.