Free Markets, Free People

Female rapists target hitchhikers in Zimbabwe

It isn’t bad enough that the African country that used to be the bread basket of Africa is now the basket case of Africa.   It isn’t bad enough that it takes a trillion or so Zimbabwe dollars to buy a loaf of bread.  It isn’t bad enough that the place is run by a delusional octogenarian megalomaniac and no one seems able to pry the guy out of his position of power.

Now we have this strange story out of that benighted place:

DETECTIVES investigating a spate of kidnappings and sex attacks on male hitchhikers by female rapists have made three arrests.

Police seized 31 used condoms with semen after a chance breakthrough when a suspect vehicle was involved in an accident in Lower Gweru.

More than a dozen attacks, thought to be for ritual purposes, have been reported mainly in the Midlands and Masvingo provinces. A few more attacks have been reported in Harare and Mashonaland West.

Oh, man the lines just flow in reaction to that story, don’t they.  It’s just that most are unprintable.

I’m just imagining the sudden volume of police volunteers for undercover (oh, no, that’s just too easy) work on this one.

“Please, commissioner, it is time I did my fair share and took on some of the burden of undercover police work”.

Yup, you can hear it now. 

And hitchhiking?  For guys, it’s the new national sport.

I’ll leave it to you folks to come up with the lines – but remember, this is a “safe for work” blog.   Have fun, but keep it that way, please.


Twitter: @McQandO

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6 Responses to Female rapists target hitchhikers in Zimbabwe

  • Female on male rape hasn’t been the subject of this much humor since Monroe was forced to be a playtoy for those two women on the special episode of “Too Close for Comfort”

    And a special thanks to this blog for giving me the perfect place to reference that.

  • First off, I need pictures to evaluate the magnitude of the crime.

  • “Please, commissioner, it is time I did my fair share and took on some of the burden of undercover police work”.
    Nope, too perilous.

  • I think you might feel a bit different about it if it actually happened to you.  Do you really want to have sex with a random, violent person?  Imagine what a person who must rape for sex looks and smells like, what kind of interesting diseases they may be carrying.   Imagine the violence inherent in the act.   What happens if you don’t ‘perform’? What’s next?   Do you think they just turn you loose?  Maybe they do, and maybe they don’t.  It’s all ‘ha ha ha’ except it probably isn’t funny at all.