Free Markets, Free People

To My Friends In Maryland

Q: Why doesn’t Delaware fall into the ocean?
A: Because Maryland sucks.
Q: Why doesn’t California fall into the ocean?
A: Because Maryland really sucks.

Dear Marylanders:

I see that your financial picture is looking rather dicey again. Sorry to hear that. Who could have guessed that high taxes, profligate spending and a general hostility to business would lead to such things? No worries, though. I’m sure political leaders will continue to work hard at righting the ship and get Maryland sailing along smoothly again (how is that plan to repeal the laws of economics coming anyway?).

On a related note, I understand that the Maryland legislature, in collaboration with Gov. O’Malley, has passed a new tax on all six-figure income earners in Maryland. Well, bully for you! That’ll teach those nasty capitalists to stop being so productive. And Gaia knows that they really need to pay their fair share (I mean, how is it that the top 20% of earners only pays about 68% of the income taxes? How’s that “fair”?). So, here’s hoping that works out for you (fingers crossed!).

Of course, I seem to recall that the last time you all did something like this (with that “Millionaires Tax” thingy), we here in Virginia experienced a bit of an influx of former Marylanders. Not too many that we couldn’t handle it, mind you, and probably fewer than some thought. But it does raise an issue, especially since the latest tax scheme stands to affect a much larger portion of Maryland’s population. While we’re always happy to welcome you all into the Commonwealth, we’d really appreciate it if you’d leave things here the way you found them.

You see, all too often when Virginia takes in refugees of high tax and high regulation states, they tend to bring a lot of those policies with them. They seem to really like our neighborhoods, schools and business environment, but for some reason they get all worked up about the fact that our government doesn’t spend as much money as they’re used to (in fact, we’ve actually had a budget surplus the past couple of years, and look to do so again this year!). They also tend to push for more state intrusion into our lives. Thing is, we really don’t like that. (In fact, it’s a fairly common complaint in the South.)

You see, before they came, we were doing just fine. Sure, some of us moved to places like New York and California so that we could enjoy that wonderful embrace of the Nanny State, but for the most part it’s been the other way around: people moving from high-tax/high-regulation states to places like Northern Virginia. We completely understand why you would want to leave a place whose policies increase your costs of living, impair your livelihoods, and generally intrude on your lives in unwanted ways. That’s why we try not to do that sort of thing here (albeit, with some annoying exceptions). Problem is, when you all move in, you start enacting all the same policies that made the place you left so bad. We’d all really appreciate it if you wouldn’t do that.

So, like I said, I really hope that whole tax-the-hell-outta-the-rich thing works for you. If it doesn’t, and your looking for change of scenery, you’ll always be welcomed with open arms on this side of the Potomac. Come on over, make yourselves comfortable and set a spell. Just don’t go touching anything.

Yours Truly,

Michael J. Wade

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8 Responses to To My Friends In Maryland

  • I can hear the prices of real estate falling in Prince Georges County up here in PA

  • It may be one of the guys on Trifecta who said it, but…”nothing is more portable than the rich”.
    The Eagles sang…”And I’m ALLLLL-ready gone…”

    • Unless Chucky Schumer gets his way, then you’ll have to cut your 1/3 wealth anchor in the US before you sail away.

      • What’s interesting is that Chuck “the Scmuck” Schumer doesn’t care if the rich leave, but they have to leave their money behind.
        This certain explains all interest in “estate taxes.”

  • It is a tax on millionaires* who have to pay their fair share.
    * 1,000,000 = 100,000 (new math)

  • Gee thanks Michael; rub it in.  I didn’t want to return to my state of birth, but we “did it for the children”.  Now we are stuck here. 
    9 people and I picketed the legislature on Monday, May 14th but the SEIU were out in faily large numbers showing support for higher taxes for others.  Not realizing, I guess, that small business’s costs will increase meaning fewer jobs and higher prices as the taxes are passed on.  The MD voters keep electing the same people and expect different results?  They, and unfortunately me, get the expected results of reelecting progressives.  Oh, and the MD’s Governor’s chosen people, his New Americans, or as I call them Illegal Aliens, didn’t have their 2 billion dollars of government support/welfare help cut.  Thanks for running them out of VA into MD.  MD citizens move south and illegals move north.  I know Michael, you like that exchange.  This is not the retirment I had hoped for 6 years ago.

  • When The Revolution has come and gone, and we’re working on USA Constitution 2.0, we’ll probably need to stick in some amendment to the effect that, while citizens are perfectly free to relocate from any state to any other state, the right to VOTE in their new state only kicks in after 5 years of residency.
    = = = =
    As far as I’m concerned, among the other amendments for the Revised Constitution will be a prohibition on the federal government handing any money or grants to anybody for any reason.  (Do you think there should be an exception for foreign aid?  Or should foreign aid be In-Kind and not monetary?)  Additionally, all elected representatives, House and Senate, will be REQUIRED to read all bills before they vote on them; if it can be demonstrated they didn’t (as in the case of the stimulus- where the nearly-2000-page monstrosity was released about 11 pm the night before the vote) the offenders should be taken out back and shot that same day.  Period.  “The People’s Work” is important and the  @#$%^&*  legislators need to get it clear in their minds that representing us citizens is DEAD-SERIOUS business.  A third thing: Legislators shall not propose, and shall not vote to create, any regulatory body that is not subject to their oversight in ALL matters.  NEVER AGAIN should we have a bunch of unelected zealots declaring that CO2 is hazardous gas, for example!
    Feel free to think up your own revisions — ya never know, the way things are going we might really get a chance to put our “knowledge gained from bitter experience” into a New Founding Document…
    Hey, I’ve got another one already: Qualifications for President, Vice-President, and/or anybody in the chain-of-succession for the Presidency shall include not just the Natural-Born restriction, but the candidate must have demonstrably been schooled here in the USA (one-year exceptions for high-school foreign exchange students or graduate students might be granted.)