Free Markets, Free People

Enviro-Whackados on parade: kill your pet for Gaia edition (update)

James Delingpole provides an example that is almost a caricature of the enviro-whacko movement  – except it is real.  He received an email from a reader who encouraged him to get behind carbon credits. The person writing the email points him to this website for a company that sells carbon credits.

For whatever reason, he clicked through.  And here’s an example of what he found among the tips one can use to cut down on their carbon emissions:

  • Euthanize Your Old Pet

Pets have become a common feature in most homes and are an attribute of the modern, Western lifestyle.  We all love our dogs and cats, but really, when you think about it, pets are a major producer of excess carbon.  One of the best ways to reasonably enjoy your pet and reduce your overall Carbon Footprint is to determine in advance how long your pet should live.  As a family, set a date when your pet will be euthanized.  One great way to teach children the value of pet euthanasia is to turn the occasion into a family celebration.  Let’s say you’ve set March 10, five years from now, as your pet’s euthanasia date.   For the next five years, celebrate March 10 as your pet’s special day, with a family party and perhaps a visit to your pet’s future burial spot.  Teach your children to think of the occasion as a birthday in reverse.  A predetermined euthanasia date will encourage your family to love and care for your furry friend while it’s still young and playful.  What’s more, pre-planing for pet termination not only works towards reducing your family’s Carbon Footprint, but guarantees long term reduction in veterinary expenses.

Yup, Fluffy’s day’s are numbered, or should be, literally.   And make death day a “celebration”.  Woohoo, Fluffy’s room temperature!

This is what some people come up with to “save the planet” when gulled into believing a trace gas that’s been a lagging indicator for centuries is suddenly a cause of warming.

Oh, and do this too:

  • Stop Having Children

      I know!  I know!  Children are as cute as all get-out, but have you ever really considered how much carbon one child puts into the atmosphere?  Over a single lifetime, the amount is practically immeasurable.  One of the best all-around things for the environment would be fewer people in the world.  Until governments wake up and start passing "one child per-family" laws, the best way you can help reduce the collective Carbon Footprint is through voluntary sterilization.  Most insurance policies cover the cost of tubal ligations as well as vasectomies, and for the poor, many clinics will do these procedures for free.  And let’s face it–there are just too many poor people in the world!

Wow … if anyone ought to be euthanized … okay, not going there, but holy crap Batman!  You just can’t make this stuff up!

UPDATE:  I’ve been spoofed.  LOL.  Can’t help it though … given those who claim the earth should only have 500k people, it seemed to me not too far fetched at all.  In fact, it makes me feel all that much better.  I mean kill Fluffy? 

I guess you can make this stuff up.

~McQ

Twitter: @McQandO

24 Responses to Enviro-Whackados on parade: kill your pet for Gaia edition (update)

  • Why not set March 10th as “your own special day”?  Next year, by gawd.  Don’t fiddle around.  Get ON with it…!!!
    Euthanize your own stupid self. Leave Fluffy to hell alone.

  • “Teach your children to think of the occasion as a birthday in reverse.”
     
    THAT is just plain creepy.  While we are perhaps far more divorced from death these days than our forebears were I think the whole idea that it should now be a celebratory event, even for your pet, isn’t just creepy, it’s perverse, warpped, sick, and half a dozen  other words, some of which I’d have to go and look up to learn and then use.  Worst of all I get the feeling that it’s training to desensitize your children beyond the normal learning about death/grief and so on.  It’s a sick long run beyond that to map it out, and to celebrate it for heaven sake.  grrrrrrrrrrrrr….Words fail me here, they just fail me, this has pissed me off.
     
    So – I’ll go where you wouldn’t, I’d be happy to hand this person whatever implements, devices, or chemicals they choose to use on themselves to fulfill their environmental goal.
    Anyone who can write “Children are as cute as all get-out, but have you ever really considered how much carbon one child puts into the atmosphere?  Over a single lifetime, the amount is practically immeasurable.  One of the best all-around things for the environment would be fewer people in the world.” deserves to be first in any line to do “One of the best all around things for the environment”.
     
    I wouldn’t hesitate to assist them in their commitment to make the world a better place for me and my descendents.   I’d be happiest if they followed the (not so ) immortal Socrates who’s last recorded words were – “I drank WHAT?”

    • Can you commit sepuku via Ex Lax?  Please, please, please post the You-Tube…!!!  I would NEVER tire of watching that.

  • And if that ASSHAT is a pet owner, they should make sure they NEVER own another, ever, ever, ever, ever after they’ve given Fluffy ‘the special day’ treatment.  “Still young and playful”  grrrrrrrrrrrrr what an asshat wearing lower level cave dwelling environmental f*tard.

  • Actually, it’s a satirical marketing site for a book. From the tiny print in the footer:

    Do you always read the small-print?  Usually the folderol in the disclaimer is boring as hell!  Daphne Tremayne is a fictitious character in the book Biodiesel: A Novel by George H. Monahan.  That’s not really a picture of her.  In fact, everything at this website is satirical.  Instead of wasting your time surfing the net, why not spend a few bucks and read Biodiesel: A Novel available on Amazon.com.  Come on, cheapskate!  Stomp down a big Carbon Footprint and buy your copy today!  Don’t wait for the movie.  Move it., slowpoke!   Why aren’t you on Amazon.com right now buying the book?

  • I got it.   Tax all pets, but tax all abortions because they will grow up to be taxpayers

    • Ever notice that the activists who claim to be helping the future inhabitants of the planet are the same ones who are the most enthusiastic to abort them?

  • The site is a spoof, gang.  It pays to have a modicum of skepticism.  This is from the fine print of the front page at the greenie site:
    “Daphne Tremayne is a fictitious character in the book Biodiesel: A Novel by George H. Monahan.  That’s not really a picture of her.  In fact, everything at this website is satirical.  Instead of wasting your time surfing the net, why not spend a few bucks and read Biodiesel: A Novel available on Amazon.com.  Come on, cheapskate!  Stomp down a big Carbon Footprint and buy your copy today!  Don’t wait for the movie.  Move it., slowpoke!   Why aren’t you on Amazon.com right now buying the book?”
     
    “People believe anything they read on the internet if it fits their preconceived notions.” –Thomas Jefferson.

    • Well, that clears that up.    Are you sure there weren’t any for real videos of people exploding because they are deniers?

    • What part of this is NOT in the public domain, stated in dead earnest?
      BTW, I couldn’t order the book, because I turned off my computer to save energy.

      • Rags, I agree, it certainly could be a legit site.  And I’ve personally heard plenty of Greenies spouting off about not having kids.  I live in a college town where you risk being beaten with Birkenstocks if you verbalize even mildly libertarian ideas.  Hell, I’ve seen several Kucinich for President stickers in this town!

        • You just know there are plenty of greenies out there right now saying “What do you mean satire?  It’s a great idea!”

  • Thomas links don’t hold, so look for Congressional record [Page: H4409]

  • My bully-dog is worth more than all the eco-activists put together.

  • They’ve said similar things in the past, so I can’t blame you.

  • As a spoof, it’s believable became there ARE such whackjobs out there. They’re (said whackjobs) great slathered in BBQ sauce.
    Our German Shepard loves them for a snack.
    /sarc?

  • Like Nancy Pelosi says, you have to comment on it before you know what’s in it.

  • Wish it had been me spoofing you.  I was laughing the whole time I read it McQ, I thought this can’t be true.

  • If you are going to spoof something there should be an obvious over the top absurdity involved. Unfortunately this sounds too much like it could easily be real.

  • Unfortunately. there are almost as many ‘whack-a-doodles on left as on the right.

  • Dear Friends,

    Getting publicity for a Conservative work of comedic fiction is practically
    impossible, so I’ve decided try weapons-grade satire! My book Biodiesel: A
    Novel, uses satire to dispel the global warming myth and generally poke fun at
    the environmentalist extremists.

    Daphne Tremayne is a fictitious character in the book Biodiesel: A Novel. She
    is the narcissistic, bubble-headed trophy-wife of businessman Vincent Tremayne,
    founder of GreenTremayne, which is entirely fictitious. No animals are killed,
    euthanized, harmed or mistreated, nor is any such thing advocated in the book.
    You can read an excerpt of Biodiesel: A Novel on the GreenTremayne website: http://greentremayne.com/How_Carbon_Credits_Work.html

    The GreenTremayne website uses satire to point out just how absurd
    Environmentalism has become. The sad thing is that many people in real life
    believe in the very things Daphne Tremayne advocates in her newsletter. Daphne
    Tremayne is fictitious, but her ideas are not. Biodiesel: A Novel holds people
    like Daphne and her ideas up to ridicule.

    If you would like to read something devastatingly funny from a conservative
    point of view, Read Biodiesel: A Novel. One of the best ways we can disarm
    people like Daphne and put the Environmental extremists to scorn is to mock
    them. My book does exactly that.

    All the best,
    George H. Monahan

    DBA

    Daphne Tremayne