Free Markets, Free People

Hash Tag Game

Tonight there was a hashtag game on Twitter called “Explain a Film Plot Badly”. I thought I would play the game for a while, but I think I got a bit carried away. Here are my entries to the game. How many of these movies do you recognize?

Hollywood SignAn ex-Marine officer returns home and takes over the family business started by his Italian immigrant father.

A private eye is confused by an attractive woman and her sister/daughter.

A young farm boy learns about religion, kisses his sister, joins an insurgent group, and blows up a military base.

A bar owner in Morocco befriends a local policeman.

A Kansas firm girl dreams about a magical land after being injured in inclement weather.

A rich media mogul remembers his favorite sled.

A stranded alien becomes addicted to candy.

A prize fighter suspects his brother may have slept with his wife.

A British and Turkish officer have a brief sexual encounter in WWI.

An inmate has fun causing hijinks at an asylum.

A former Nazi scientist figures out a plan to legalize polygamy.

Astronauts find a black box left by aliens long ago. Hilarity ensues.

An ex-nun sings about everything.

Military doctors drink and perform surgery in tents.

A big fish ruins everyone’s summer.

A UCLA archaeologist ignores international treaties about antiquities.

A murderous lunatic enjoys cannibalism and legumes.

A black Philadelphia police detective solves crime and racism in Mississippi.

Wyatt and Billy sell cocaine, ride motorcycles, and irritate rednecks.

A poor Irishman meets a nice girl, but dies in a boating accident.

Bruce Willis dies, then counsels a troubled youth.

An NYPD detective learns that Frenchmen have the best smack.

A bible-quoting gangster retrieves an important briefcase, then interrupts a robbery in a diner.

A concentration camp prisoner discovers which child she loves the best.

A Jewish chariot racer takes baths with hunky Roman men.

Private Ryan is sent home after a family tragedy.

A murderer practices accountancy in prison.

A rich vigilante dresses up like an animal and drives a cool car.

Twelve disgruntled jurors talk things out.

A man and his imaginary friend form a club they never talk about.

Little people travel with a piece of jewelry, have adventures.

A man goes into people’s dreams and learns stuff, and thinks about his hot ex-wife. Or maybe it’s just a dream.

A half-Irish, half-Italian man becomes involved with organized crime, then tells cops how fun it was.

A police detective looks into a box and makes an unfortunate find.

A man wishes he had never been born. His wish is granted, and his little town becomes way more fun.

Lunatic hotelier has unhealthily fond memories of his mother.

A federal agent investigates a baseball-loving bootlegger.

A magical black man heals a wounded rodent, but is electrocuted.

A starship crew encounters an alien who kills all the unattractive crew members.

A milk-loving British thug receives therapy.

The English make a Scottish rebel pay for his violent hijinks.

A mentally disabled man befriends the daughter of an idealistic, widowed, southern lawyer.

Con men rob a gangster and then get shot. But not really.

A Cuban immigrant snorts cocaine then introduces rivals to his small acquaintance.

Adolf Hitler yells and dies in German.

A British officer is held prisoner by the Japanese, and builds the best bridge ever.

A LA policeman kills robots, then has sex with one.

A hippie bowler has sex with a rich woman, meets a pornographer, and has his carpet soiled by nihilists.

Ratty-looking Formula 1 driver has a bad crash, but races again.

An African hotelier in Kigali, Rwanda, is disturbed by local events.

A math professor becomes paranoid, but gains an imaginary friend.

Antarctic researchers find an alien with a talent for mimicry.

Unattractive Persians kill hunky Spartans in a disturbingly homoerotic war.

A man is reacquainted with his childhood sweetheart, while his Hispanic friend investigates his father’s murder.

Unscrupulous petroleum magnate drinks other people’s milkshakes.

An Irish hit man travels to Belgium, is unimpressed by Bruges.

Jason Bourne loses his memory, then falls for a quirky German girl.

A girl learns how to box, then dies.

An Indian leader preaches pacifism, but, ironically, is shot.

A young man volunteers to serve in Vietnam, which is more unpleasant than he expected.

A hotel caretaker spends the winter writing an extremely repetitious book, and using cutlery.

Undercover cop gets shot while participating in a robbery. He’s told he’s “gonna be okay” but isn’t.

A mob-connected gambler runs a casino in Vegas, while hosting a bad TV show, then has serious car trouble.


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Image Credit: The Hollywood sign image was originally posted to Flickr by Sörn at http://flickr.com/photos/34065722@N00/1151601662, licensed under the terms of the cc-by-sa-2.0. Post originally posted at DaleFranks.Com.

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37 Responses to Hash Tag Game

  • Wait wait….where’s the upside down answers crammed together in small print at the bottom of the page?

  • Ben Hur never bathed with Romans (at least not in the movie). NTTAWWT

    The kid in “Titanic” wasn’t Irish. He was American.

    Mrs. Von Trapp was never a nun, just a novice.

    I think Dr. Jones taught at an Eastern university. Pretty sure not UCLA.

    How’s this…

    Guys go out hunting for oil; find it; only one makes it home.

    Californian from good family finds literature is the key to killing a lot of people.

  • English bastard commits multiple crimes while away from home, ends up badly needing Scotch tape, which hasn’t been invented. Dies.

    Nice old LEO marries princess half his age, defends craven community, has life saved by Quaker.

  • I like the Untouchables and Seven clues. Fight Club’s gave me a chuckle too.

  • Detective spends his Christmas vacation doing cowboy impressions for tourists.

  • Kid from good family goes bad, lives with homeless gang, robs and kills people from ambush.

    Lost child grows up, becomes swinger, abuses animals who won’t do what he wants.

  • Baseball star destroys stadium lighting system, is forced into life as a farmer.

  • Matt Dillion hunts AUSs across the American Southwest. The ending’s a gas.

  • Boy goes on heavy date, confronts amorphous predatory mass not his potential mother-in-law. Electrifying ending.

  • Footloose buddies tangle with underground conspiracy, find salvation in same redoubt as Von Trapps.

  • Boy loves girl righteously, but finds he can only reach her thru medium of cheap whoppie.

  • http://media.hotair.com/wp/wp-content/uploads/2014/09/DWS.jpg

    First out-take from new all-female version of “The Shining”…

  • Troubled FBI guy finds kid, loses kid, finds kid, loses kid, parks kid with strange chick but gets to kill Alec Baldwin.

    Guy repeatedly sinks his own ship, scares bejeeebus out of his crew, finally winds up sinking his ship in some river in Maine, and DOES NOT get to kill Alec Baldwin.

  • Two women show off their independence and empowerment by going on a road trip in which they fail at everything, including life.

    Poor boy gathers a band of wacky misfits to rescue the love of his life from villainous 1%er.

    Liam Neeson demonstrates how Rotherham should’ve been handled.

    A heartwarming tale in which an old American man and a young immigrant boy bridge the divide between them through the shared language of classic automobiles.

    A sniper finds revenge and redemption in the chaos of an alien invasion.

    Seven strangers educate the people of a small town in the value of the Second Amendment.

    An heroic 1%er risks his life to thwart an attack by a nuclear-armed OWS.

  • Yeah, Rags, got ’em all but The Blob. (which disappoints me on numerous levels…)

    I am surprised that I’m not the only person who watched Mercury Rising. I’m kind of a movie buff. I like the good ones and the bad ones.

    If you enjoy the bad ones, I recommend checking out Badmovies.org, Andrew Borntreger’s site. He’s an active service USMC. I go to his site and fall down the rabbit hole for 5 or 6 hours. He hasn’t posted anything in a quite a long time so I hope he’s OK. He managed the website while deployed overseas.

    • Thanks! I’ll look into that.

      I thought “Mercury” was a pretty good movie. And Alec Baldwin got killed…

  • Crew of really bad/smart guys get punked, but the Kaiser walks at the end.

    • For the record, I hated this movie. What a pointless, pretentious waste of time. The comedian’s name escapes me, but he does a routine about someone describing their dream to him and at the end the comedian says none of it mattered, it was just a dream anyway.

      Now, I know Kaiser Soze’s tale wasn’t a dream but the movie just felt like that. Likeone big practical joke (the mean kind, not the funny kind) on the viewer or the director. Blech.

      • Yeah, me, too. I feel that way about several of the Cohen brothers’ movies, too. Which makes me terribly gouache. But, hey, I’ve been called worse.

  • Here are all the ones I could figure out.  Probably wrong on several, but this was fun…
     
    he Godfather
    ?
    Star Wars
    Casablanca
    Wizard of Oz
    Citizen Kane
    ET
    Raging Bull
    ?
    One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
    ?
    2001:  A Space Odyssey
    Sound of Music
    M*A*S*H
    Jaws
    Raiders of the Lost Ark
    Silence of the Lambs
    In the Heat of the Night
    Easy Rider
    Titanic
    6th Sense
    French Connection
    Pulp Fiction
    Sophie’s Choice
    Ben Hur
    Saving Private Ryan
    Shawshank Redemption?
    ?
    Twelve Angry Men
    Fight Club
    Time Bandits
    Inception
    ?
    Se7en
    It’s a Wonderful Life
    Psycho
    ?
    The Green Mile?
    Alien
    Clockwork Orange
    Braveheart
    To Kill a Mockingbird
    ?
    Scarface
    Downfall
    Bridge on the River Kwai
    Blade Runner
    Big Lebowski
    Bobby Deerfield?  (stumped on this one, but I remember an old Al Pacino movie with a similar plot)
    ?
    Beautiful Mind
    ?
    300
    Princess Bride
    ?
    ?
    Bourne Identity
    Million Dollar Baby
    Ghandi
    Deer Hunter (could have been Full Metal Jacket, Apocalypse Now, or even Platoon.  Not really sure)
    The Shining
    ?
    ?

  • Be careful throwing around hashtags, they are powerful weapons of Diplomacy and National Defense.

    In fact, this whole piece is entirely reckless, we’re lucky we haven’t triggered a war somewhere.

  • ANSWERS:

    1. The Godfather
    2. Chinatown
    3. Star Wars
    4. Casablanca
    5. The Wizard of Oz
    6. Citizen Kane
    7. E.T., the Extra-Terrestrial
    8. Raging Bull
    9. Lawrence of Arabia
    10. One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
    11. Doctor Strangelove
    12. 2001: A Space Odyssey
    13. The Sound of Music
    14. M*A*S*H
    15. Jaws
    16. Raiders of the Lost Ark
    17. The Silence of the Lambs
    18. In the Heat of the Night
    19. Easy Rider
    20. Titanic
    21. The Sixth Sense
    22. The French Connection
    23. Pulp Fiction
    24. Sophies Choice
    25. Ben Hur
    26. Saving Private Ryan
    27. The Shawshank Redemption
    28. The Dark Knight, or any Batman movie, really.
    29. 12 Angry Men
    30. Fight Club
    31. Lord of the Rings (Any)
    32. Inception
    33. Goodfellas
    34. Se7en
    35. It’s a Wonderful Life
    36. Psycho
    37. The Untouchables
    38. The Green Mile
    39. Alien
    40. A Clockwork Orange
    41. Braveheart
    42. To Kill a Mockingbird
    43. The Sting
    44. Scarface
    45. Downfall
    46. Bridge over the River Kwai
    47. Blade Runner
    48. The Big Lebowski
    49. Rush
    50. Hotel Rwanda
    51. A Beautiful Mind
    52. The Thing
    53. 300
    54. The Princess Bride
    55. There Will Be Blood.
    56. In Bruges
    57. The Bourne Identity
    58. Million-Dollar baby
    59. Ghandi
    60. Platoon
    61. The Shining
    62. Reservoir Dogs
    63. Casino

  • Here are mine…

    Guys go out hunting for oil; find it; only one makes it home. “Moby Dick”

    Californian from good family finds literature is the key to killing a lot of people. “Patton”

    English bastard commits multiple crimes while away from home, ends up badly needing Scotch tape, which hasn’t been invented. Dies. “Rob Roy”

    Nice old LEO marries princess half his age, defends craven community, has life saved by Quaker. “High Noon”

    Kid from good family goes bad, lives with homeless gang, robs and kills people from ambush. “The Adventures Of Robin Hood”

    Lost child grows up, becomes swinger, abuses animals who won’t do what he wants. Any “Tarzan”

    Matt Dillion hunts AUSs across the American Southwest. The ending’s a gas. “Them”

    The others are pretty obvious and/or gotten.

    • Oh, and…

      Footloose buddies tangle with underground conspiracy, find salvation in same redoubt as Von Trapps. “Tremors”

  • Oil rig drillers save the word while getting astronomy entirely wrong.

    Some guys steal some pot to pay off their gambling debts.

    A space ship crashes but the single malt scotch is saved.

    A tragedy about a destroyed, stolen piece of jewelry that brings down an empire.

    A macintosh hack saves the world.

    Some inclement weather leads to a boat trip.

    • The answers to mine:
      Armageddon
      Lock, Stock, and Two Smoking Barrels
      Pitch Black
      The Lord of the Rings
      Independence Day
      2012

  • A trio of inept gents struggles to eek out a living in post-WWII America. [Three Stooges]

    Lack of ice water does not dampen sports hero’s stellar career. [Lou Gehrig Story]