Free Markets, Free People

Special snowflake students pwn Columbia into postponing law finals

In this era of absolutely absurd stories there’s this … frankly, it should be an Onion story, but it’s not – it’s real:

Columbia University has allowed law school students who feel they suffered trauma from two high-profile grand jury decisions to postpone taking their final exams, the school’s interim dean Robert Scott wrote in a message to students this weekend.

“The law school has a policy and set of procedures for students who experience trauma during exam period,” reads Scott’s message, according to the blog PowerLine.

“In accordance with these procedures and policy, students who feel that their performance on examinations will be sufficiently impaired due to the effects of these recent events may petition Dean Alice Rigas to have an examination rescheduled,” Scott continued, citing a St. Louis County grand jury’s decision not to indict Ferguson, Mo., police officer Darren Wilson for fatally shooting 18-year-old Michael Brown in August as well as a Staten Island grand jury’s decision not to indict Officer Daniel Pantaleo for using a chokehold which killed 43-year-old Eric Garner in July.

Both cases have sparked heavy protests, as both officers are white while both Brown and Garner are black.

“The grand juries’ determinations to return non-indictments in the Michael Brown and Eric Garner cases have shaken the faith of some in the integrity of the grand jury system and in the law more generally,” the message says.

“For some law students, particularly, though not only, students of color, this chain of events is all the more profound as it threatens to undermine a sense that the law is a fundamental pillar of society designed to protect fairness, due process and equality.”

Oh my goodness.  This is just freakin’ sad.  These little special snowflakes are traumatized by these events.  So, Columbia makes concessions to them because they’ve set up a policy that likely pertains to family situations and that has been used to claim trauma in general.  What’s next claims of PTSD?  And what do you suppose the percentage of students allegedly traumatized vs. students who will claim anything to postpone an exam?  Pwned.

Consider this though, what will the real world do when one of these duffuses claims trauma when he or she loses a law suit?  Well certainly not this:

The school will be holding special sessions next week with trauma specialist Dr. Shirley Matthews, Scott announced. Several faculty members have also agreed to hold special office hours to discuss the implications of the grand juries’ decisions.

The school will set up a reading group, speaker series and teach-ins next semester to “formulate a response to the implications, including racial meanings, of these non-indictments.”

And here these folks thought the legal and judicial systems were perfect.  How will they ever cope?  In the real world they’d hear “suck it up, buttercup, and grow up!”  But of course, academia has set itself up for years for stupidity like this … and now they have it.

Nauseating.  Btw, if they’re this fragile make sure you don’t hire a Columbia law school grad for your lawyer.  He or she will likely have to undergo trauma care if they take your case, and you’ll likely be billed for it.



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11 Responses to Special snowflake students pwn Columbia into postponing law finals

  • This is Columbia we’re talking about. This should be as surprising as the Pope saying a prayer on Easter.

  • Frankly, for what you pay to go there, they should be kissing their butts.

  • He, heh, he-he-he…

    I will reduce you to quivering puddles of gelatin, Columbia grads… I LOVE this story…!!!!

    • If LAW students get the vapors over a GRAND JURY decision, those kids are seeking the wrong profession.

      Seriously, this is like pre-meds passing-out at the sight of blood.

      Mom and Dad? You’re wasting money…

  • Columbia…school of the special foreign exchange snowflake himself.

  • Harvard students have addressed a request/demand to their administration that it act in conformity to Columbia, including the special argument….

    We can’t breathe.

    No, darlings. You can’t THINK.

  • Is McQ using pwn in the correct sense?

  • Life is gonna hand out a whole world of hurt to these kids….I look forward to it

  • Columbia maintains a red light policy on “Email Usage” that states:

    No User of University email may take any of the following actions: … Send obscene, harassing, offensive or other unwelcome messages.

    I’m sure any notice of a upcoming exam is an “unwelcome” message.