Free Markets, Free People

Less than five months before this program terminates

While Not AmericaDestroyed
   AndAlso Date.Now.Compare(#20170120#) < 0
      Golf.Play(GolfRoundType.NineHoles)
      Media.WhineTo()
      TerroristCaptives.ReleaseNext()
      IllegalImmigrants.Add(100,000)
      ForeignPolicy.Cave(Regime.Iran)
      ForeignPolicy.Cave(Regime.China)
      ForeignPolicy.Cave(Regime.Russia)
      Mirror.Preen()
      CheckStatus(AmericaDestroyed)
End While

It looks like the AmericaDestroyed flag isn’t going to quite make it to true before termination by the date condition.

Apologies to any of you Java or C# devs. I still use Visual Basic as my main language. Besides, it’s a bit easier for non-developers to follow.

Billy

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13 Responses to Less than five months before this program terminates

  • You computer folks need to stop creating new languages. It’s difficult to keep track of what’s in fashion.

    I do like the “Mirror.Preen()” line. Shouldn’t there be a time limit on that? That particular function is likely to get caught in an infinite loop.

    • Yeah, I probably should have put that method call on a background thread. There’s nothing to stop simultaneous execution of Mirror.Preen() with most of the other method calls.

      • Yeah, you’re still going to have to hang a timer on that too, otherwise unless you get a golf interrupt he’s never going to move.

        Not that that will stop the other threads from continuing with their destruction.

  • You left out:

    RacialTension.Multiply(1.1)
    FBIInvestigations.Remove(MatchingHillary)

  • Do it in COBOL…..

    • COBOL75 style?

      0001-MAIN-BARACK-LOOP.
      MOVE -1 TO WS-DESTROY-USA-TEST-FLAG.

      PERFORM 2009-trash-USA THRU 2016-trash-USA-EXIT
      VARYING TERRORIST-REFUGEE-COUNT FROM 1 BY 1 UNTIL TERRORIST-REFUGEE-COUNT IS EQUAL TO 1,000,000
      OR
      USA-DESTROYED-BY-OTHER-MEANS

      .
      .
      .

      I have to say, it really doesn’t handle simultaneous threading very well, there’s going to be a lot of conditional checks for setting USA-DESTROYED-BY-OTHER-MEANS to true.
      I’ve decided to go against my usual style and will write 2009-trash-USA etc as a sections, rather than paragraphs, there’s so much to do you see…..

      But I insist as unlikely armor we be allowed to include BARACK error processing where I will violate another of my rules by using a GO TO and a paragraph/section simply labeled “HELL”.
      The contents of that paragraph will be a joy to write.

  • Speaking of “Regime.China”, it seems they made Obama get off Air Force One using the rear entrance, with no red carpet. No “back of the bus” racial insult, I am sure. Just your run-of-the-mill anti-American insult.

    Then again, when you “lead from behind” the back door is probably more convenient, if not appropriate.

  • I think the next up algorithm is full of bugs with memory leaks and clean up problems. A tendancy to fling blackberries at people in anger destroying them and is just a general Bitch.

    The only other option is run the parody entertainment game in the orange CD holder.

    • In much the same way that they used to stage train wrecks and travel to the nearest public execution in the later 1800’s.
      Apparently however it’s not entertainment if one is part of the festivities rather than being an observer.

      One way or another, we’re going to have a show, and unless we’re all hiding in Doc D’s basement across the pond (where they’re having shows of their own) they will expect our participation.

  • “they will expect our participation.”

    Said the prisoners on death row.

  • I see out around Riverside CA the program has declared

    public class Leprosy extends BiblicalPlague

    Worst, President, EVVVVVVEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRRRR.

  • Like with a cloth?

  • Which one of you clowns triggered the pneumonia interrupt?

    I am impressed however with the efficiency of the ‘spin recovery’ routines though.
    I’m assuming the Spin Class was a greatly enhanced version of the public domain software used in the ERB programs.