QandO

June 30, 2004

The Never-Ending Hell That is NMCI
Posted by Dale Franks

I am completely stymied as to why no one in congress or the media has latched on to the multi-billion dollar boondoggle that Navy/Marine Corps Internet project has become. I've
written on it here before, so regular readers know I'm completely disgusted with the whole thing.

One of the key things about IT services is that they are a support function. The mission determines IT's workload. But, somehow, EDS has now gotten that relationship completely reversed.

On the installation where I work, we are so frustrated with NMCI that we are currently planning to buy a completely separate network on which we can do our jobs. We will, of course, have to keep paying 200 bucks per seat per month for our NMCI network, but it will be used mainly for email. At the same time, we will have to buy and maintain our own network, where all of our work will actually get done.

Every one I've talked to, at every Navy or Marine Corps installation from Point Mugu to Quantico is appalled at the way NMCI is working. Or as the case mainly is, not working.

So far, the Navy has dumped $8.8 billion down this hole, to end up with a network that they don't even own. That's right, EDS, the prime contractor, owns the network, the servers, and the individual desktop computers and laptops. And EDS gets to decide what hardware and software gets run, and if they disapprove your software, they'll refuse to allow you to put it on an NMCI machine.

Essentially, this means that if you need something other than Microsoft Office©, then you're sucking wind.

IT isn't supposed to tell you what you need to do your job. You're supposed to tell IT what you need, and their job is to make it work. IT is a support function.

Some people have just had enough. Last week, Lt Gen Ed Hanlon, who runs the Marine Corps Combat Development Command (MCCDC, pronounced "mik-SID-ick"), blew his stack at the NMCI conference.

Unlike the favor-curriers in the Navy, it took a Marine to tell the truth.

Hanlon cited poor connectivity and slow delivery, along with other flaws and deficiencies in the system, and called them "unacceptable." He described NMCI's progress as "rocky and problematic."

"It is not going as smoothly as we hoped and expected," Hanlon said at the 2004 NMCI Industry Symposium in New Orleans. "I believe that EDS was not prepared to handle the implementation..."

Hanlon said...that he uses his NMCI station to communicate with personnel in Iraq, and the connection has failed him too many times. The Marine Corps has received 9,000 NMCI "seats" out of a total goal of 89,000, he added.

"Implementation is moving too slowly," he said. "At the current rate, it would take far too long to reach the objective."

How did the crowd at the conference respond?

The crowd of industry and military information technology officials at the conference gave Hanlon a standing ovation after his speech.

That's right. Because the performance of EDS has been a parade of incompetent buffoonery, and everybody who has an ounce of knowledge about IT services knows it. If you tried to bumble your way through a project like this in the private sector, you'd be out on your behind so fast it would make your head swim. Only the government can manage to subsidize incompetence to this extent.

Of course, when Hanlon was done, EDS' response was classic.

EDS spokesman Kevin Clarke said the company appreciates Hanlon's candor.

Yeah. I'll bet. I know how deeply I appreciate it when someone calls me an incompetent buffoon.

But the best part is this:

Earlier Tuesday, Navy Secretary Gordon England praised NMCI and said there are a "few bugs" in the system, but "you're always going to have them."

"That's the way it is with my own personal [America Online] account," England said.

I'm sorry Mr. Secretary, but that just makes you sound like an idiot.

I wonder, Mr. Secretary, how often do America Online's tech support people log onto your computer in order to delete any software they find that might interfere with AOL, and cause their number of tech support calls to rise? 'Cause NMCI does that to my NMCI machine every night.

Or rather they would do that if my NMCI machine worked. For four weeks now, my NMCI machine has been unable to boot up, due to a driver conflict caused by NMCI's dial-up software. I have literally no idea at all when it will be fixed. How satisfied would you be with AOL if their software prevented you from using your computer for a month, Mr. Secretary?

I bet you'd be a lot less tolerant of those little "bugs".

Oh, and while we're on the subject, get a real ISP, Mr. Secretary. I'm not saying AOL is bad, but it's designed for use by computer novices. No offense to other people who might blog here (*cough* Jon! *cough* ah-hmm) , but as soon as you say that you are an AOL customer, you've just told me that you are automatically unqualified to speak knowledgeably about IT issues.

It doesn't mean you aren't smart and competent in your own field, but it implies that computers aren't your bag, man. So you really shouldn't presume to tell a roomful of IT professionals that everything is fine, when you clearly aren't qualified to assure anyone about anything. Especially about things they know to be true.

The only way you could sound more pitifully uninformed Mr. Secretary, would be to add that you have lots of software development experience because you build databases in FoxPro.

Even worse, AOL blocks all the really good porn.

Or, so I've heard.

You know, for 9 billion bucks, I'd like to think that someone would've put just a bit more thought into this boondoggle. But, maybe that's just the way EDS has done business since Ross Perot left.

One of the attendees at the conference related that EDS used to have television commercial where there was a passenger jet flying, and the passengers were all looking around while EDS employees were completing construction of the aircraft in flight. I guess EDS' point was that they could do really complicated stuff on the fly.

Maybe, but it looks like a pretty good way to kill a planeload of passengers, too.

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