Free Markets, Free People

Humor

What’s so wrong with free-lance wealth redistribution?

As a counterpoint to McQ’s post on the pirate incident, a humorist endeavors to predict the Obama administration’s response:

For too long, America has been too dismissive of the proud culture and invaluable contributions of the Pirate Community. Whether it is their pioneering work with prosthetics, husbandry of tropical birds or fanciful fashion sense, America owes a deep debt to Pirates.

The past eight years have shown a failure to appreciate the historic role of these noble seafarers. Instead of celebrating their entreprenuerial spirit and seeking to partner with them to meet common challenges, there have been times where America has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive.

Finally, to all pirates listening to international broadcasts, shortwave services and ship-to-shore radio, let me say this:

Ahoy, me regret arr relationship has set sail in a scurvy manner. Arr people share many mutual ‘alues and concerns on t’ raging main. Perchance, could ye handsomely release the cap’n o’ the ship and I assure that no harm will come t’ ye or ye hearties.

Well, it’s no sillier than thinking you can solve a problem created by too much debt by going a whole lot further in debt.

Toy Design Fail

I‘m not precisely sure what was going through the designer’s mind here.  But, whatever it was…it was wrong.

Epic Fail

Epic Fail

I’m reminded a bit of the dark, alternate-universe, Spiderman comic from 2007, Spiderman: Reign, in which it is revealed that Peter Parker killed MJ, his wife, through the release of radioactive…uh…reproductive cells.  That’s kind of odd and probably not particularly suitable for children reading comic books.  But, wait, it gets better!

Peter Parker addresses the body of his dead wife with this tortured monologue:

Oh God, I’m sorry! The doctors didn’t understand how it happened! How you had been poisoned by radioactivity! How your body slowly became riddled with cancer! I did. I was… I am filled with radioactive blood. And not just blood. Every fluid. Touching me… loving meLoving me killed you!

Perhaps the writers might have slipped by with a PG-13 rating if they had stopped there.  But, unfortunately, Parker adds:

Like a spider, crawling up inside your body and laying a thousand eggs of cancer… I killed you.

Now, that’s just creepy.

(H/T: Samizdata)

Our Watchdog Compliant Media

Good to know that the American press is so ready and capable of holding our elected officials accountable in these trying times:

0952 Jeff McCallister from Time magazine tells the BBC: [Obama’s] a rock star, he has a gorgeous wife, he is charismatic, young and vital. It’s echoes of the Kennedys in early 1961. It’s hard for me to imagine even if he doesn’t fix the world economy in a day that this is going to go badly for him in political terms in the US or elsewhere.

Just imagine what he would have said if Time magazine were a biased publication!

More “South Park” Truth – The Underpants Gnomes

If you’ve not kept up or been unable to keep up (that’s why we’re here), you’ve probably wondered about the references to the “underpants gnomes” when discussing the banking and auto industry situations.  

Naturally we have precisely the information you need to be in the know.  Just remember, as our own underpants gnomes are discovering, the tricky part is “Phase II”.

Darkened Cities For ‘Enlightened’ People

Oh, good – another meaningless, feel-good effort in which to participate (or not):

EARTH HOUR is about to sweep around the world in what the United Nations is calling “the largest demonstration of public concern about climate change ever attempted”.

The event, which started in Sydney two years ago, will see well over 3000 cities and towns in more than 90 countries switch off their lights for an hour this year. Hundreds of millions of people are expected to take part.

From the international dateline, Earth Hour starts in New Zealand’s Chatham Islands this afternoon and will conclude in Honolulu tomorrow night (Sydney time).

In between, tens of millions of houses and public buildings will dim their lights to call for an effective global deal to cut greenhouse gas emissions. More than 10,000 street parties are planned. Sydney’s turn comes at 8.30 tonight.

Sounds like a lot of fun – partying in the dark I mean.

Frankly I like James Taranto’s idea from yesterday better:

Reader, if you are against global-warming hysteria, high taxes, socialized medicine and a weak foreign policy, Sunday is your day. Show how you feel about the issues by turning on your lights in the evening and leaving them on until you go to bed. If you go out for a drive after dark, make sure you turn your headlights on too.

Granted, the EarthHour people have a head start on us. They started planning this months ago, whereas we’re giving you all of 48 hours notice. Yet we think the outlook is bright for this effort. Tell your friends, tell them to tell their friends, and so on, and we’ll bet millions of people across the country will turn their lights on Sunday night.

If no one will listen to the silent majority, let’s at least make sure they see us.

Indeed.

~McQ

TOTUS Releases Exerpts From Tonights Script

The Teleprompter Of The United States (TOTUS) has released  the following excerpts of what it will be providing for the POTUS to read tonight:

Obama will tell Americans: “[W]e’ve put in place a comprehensive strategy designed to attack this crisis on all fronts. It’s a strategy to create jobs, to help responsible homeowners, to re-start lending, and to grow our economy over the long-term. And we are beginning to see signs of progress.”

“The budget I submitted to Congress will build our economic recovery on a stronger foundation, so that we do not face another crisis like this ten or twenty years from now. We invest in the renewable sources of energy that will lead to new jobs, new businesses, and less dependence on foreign oil. We invest in our schools and our teachers so that our children have the skills they need to compete with any workers in the world. We invest in reform that will bring down the cost of health care for families, businesses, and our government. And in this budget, we have made the tough choices necessary to cut our deficit in half by the end of my first term – even under the most pessimistic estimates.

“At the end of the day, the best way to bring our deficit down in the long run is not with a budget that continues the very same policies that have led to a narrow prosperity and massive debt. It’s with a budget that leads to broad economic growth by moving from an era of borrow and spend to one where we save and invest.

“That’s what clean energy jobs and businesses will do. That’s what a highly-skilled workforce will do. That’s what an efficient health care system that controls costs and entitlements like Medicare and Medicaid will do. That’s why this budget is inseparable from this recovery – because it is what lays the foundation for a secure and lasting prosperity.

“We will recover from this recession. But it will take time, it will take patience, and it will take an understanding that when we all work together; when each of us looks beyond our own short-term interests to the wider set of obligations we have to each other – that’s when we succeed. That’s when we prosper. And that’s what is needed right now. So let us look toward the future with a renewed sense of common purpose, a renewed determination, and most importantly, a renewed confidence that a better day will come.”

That’s pretty much the propaganda nut of it.

You’re excused if you’d rather spend your time doing useful things and wait until TOTUS releases the script. Frankly, rather than watching Obama, I’d much rather be watching Steve Wosniak on “Dancing With The Stars” or, better yet, getting a root canal.

~McQ

A Million French Can’t Be Wrong …

Yes, it is spring and that means protest season in France (note the previous attempt in January didn’t turn out too well due to global warming effects).  This time, though, it’s not the “youths” doing the protesting.  Instead we are treated to union driven protests.

 The reason?

The protests, which drew substantially more people into the streets than a similar outpouring Jan. 29, were depicted by union leaders as part of a sustained campaign to pressure President Nicolas Sarkozy to do more to defend French people against the economic upheaval that has unfurled across the planet since the fall. In particular, they called on him to raise low-end wages and unemployment benefits and to make it harder for business leaders to fire employees when profits sink.

It's a win-win - Kerry goes too!

It's a win-win - Kerry goes too!

And we complain about our liberals being economic ignoramuses. Per the French mob, the ticket to recovery is to raise wages, raise unemployment benefits and prevent businesses – which most likely pay for those unemployment benefits (not to mention higher wages) – from letting workers go when their profits sink. Wow … economics worthy of Timothy Geithner, Barney Frank and Chris Dodd.

See, the French really deserve our Congress for their legislature. They’d be absolutely perfect together. Simpatico. Nancy Pelosi would be the toast of Paris and Harry Reid – ok, even the French wouldn’t put up with Harry Reid, so let’s not get too carried away. But seriously, have you ever seen a mob and a Congress (or administration for that matter) that thought so much alike?

It’s like a marriage made in heaven. The Congress and administration could transfer themselves to a country where the economic damage has already been done and the economy is already chronically lethargic, the welfare state is established to include universal health care and the control they seek over industry and business is already in place. They’d be happier (and have much less work to do ruining their economy even further), we’d be happier (trust me, we would), and my guess is the French would just swoon over Obama.

And he’s about right for them – they’ve always believed in style over substance, always thought more of themselves than others have and always had a sense of hubris which never equaled their performance.

It’s freakin’ perfect.

Why didn’t we think of this before?

~McQ