Free Markets, Free People

Humor

Speaking Of The “Drug War” …

Not everyone engaged in it is the sharpest knife in the drawer – and that goes for both sides.

In this particular case it’s the supply side, instead of the enforcement side, which gets the spotlight:

Officials say a suspected drug dealer who led police on a 90 mph chase in Indiana was arrested after he stopped suddenly at a Taco Bell parking lot.

Fort Wayne police Sgt. Mark Walters says 36-year-old Jermaine Askia Cooper told officers he “knew he was going to jail for a while” and wanted to get one last burrito.

Expect to see a variation on that theme in a Taco Bell commercial soon. At least Cooper was thinking outside the bun.

~McQ

Comment Of The Day

It’s rare that I quit reading through a comment section because I happen upon what’s surely the best comment. However, this comment to Capt. Ed’s post about the Obama administration’s thuggish tactics in the Chrysler negotiations sums everything up perfectly:
obama-scold-finger1

“I did not have knowledgeable relations with it, that Constitution.”

Heh.

Research: people can’t distinguish dog food from pâté

Perhaps because of my cross-grained hillbilly upbringing, I’ve long been a bit cynical about high cuisine. An old steakhouse commercial summed up my feelings: “Cuisine is something that’s a lot like food, only it costs a lot more.”

I’ve had pâté at a few receptions, and wondered what the fuss was about. So I got a good hard laugh out of this posting about how people can’t distinguish dog food from pâté. There’s a link to the original research paper.

I’m sure there’s some clever political metaphor in there about not trusting elites, but I’m too lazy to tease it out. Commenters are invited to do so if they are so moved.

(Originally found at geekpress.com, which you programming and math types ought to put on your daily reading list.)

Newspeak Update

Remember: billions in earmarks are insignificant but, millions in bonuses are outrageous; “bi-partisan” actually means “one-party rule”; and now “bankruptcy” means “strong.” From Jake Tapper’s Twitter feed:

POTUS says bankruptcy “not a sign of weakness”…

Can’t you just see the White House Press Corps (excepting Tapper, of course) looking like the bunch of lapdogs that they are in response to that statement?

Ruh?

Ruh?

What's he talking about?  And where's Bo?  Less econo-stuff, more water dog hotness!

What's he talking about? And where's Bo? Less econo-stuff, more water dog hotness!

Bankrupt = strength? R'okay!

Bankrupt = strength? R'okay!

MORE: Tom Maguire is less than impressed with the President’s reasoning about shared sacrifice with respect to the Chrysler bankruptcy:

Uh, hello, how about the US taxpayer? Any props, exhortations, or acknowledgment of their role here? Sorry, MY role?

The Congress – yeah, they have to sacrifice an endless stream of donations from the UAW.

One Day At The OnionTM

Dale forwarded me a link to this story from the Onion, which is a bit of a departure from their typical, non sequitur, off-the-wall sort of schtick:

More than a week after President Barack Obama’s cold-blooded killing of a local couple, members of the American news media admitted Tuesday that they were still trying to find the best angle for covering the gruesome crime.

“I know there’s a story in there somewhere,” said Newsweek editor Jon Meacham, referring to Obama’s home invasion and execution-style slaying of Jeff and Sue Finowicz on Apr. 8. “Right now though, it’s probably best to just sit back and wait for more information to come in. After all, the only thing we know for sure is that our president senselessly murdered two unsuspecting Americans without emotion or hesitation.”

Added Meacham, “It’s not so cut and dried.”

There are some who seem to think that, with this article, the Onion has delivered a withering critique of the media in this country. According to that view, by suggesting that the MSM would have difficulty figuring out exactly how to report a gruesome double homicide, the Onion is poking fun at the MSM’s reluctance to cover the perceived foibles of our president. But I don’t see it that way at all.

I condemn this article. How repulsive for the Onion to treat the most respected politician in the world as a foil in some stupid joke about the press. Even if in jest, it is simply beyond the pale to equate the president with a serial killer. Anyway, don’t they know that serial killers are all white (except for the one or two that aren’t)? Which reminds me, this article is also racist. Racists!

Besides the vile, racist, inhuman treatment of our president, it is absolutely ludicrous to think that the MSM isn’t holding Obama’s feet to the fire. Who told them to say that? Rush Limbaugh? O’Reilly? Haven’t they heard of Jake Tapper? And then there’s … um … racists!

Furthermore, it is unacceptable that the Onion could write such an article when it never once called out Bush for his lies, deceit and actual murder. I mean where was all the ribald comedy when our last president was ruthlessly killing innocent women and children just to line the pockets of his Halliburton buddies? Where were the protests? Why didn’t the Onion write about that?

In closing, I want to point out that our press is doing a fine job of covering the important issues and the difficult choices President Obama faces. The Onion should be ashamed of attacking him and his hagiographers reporters. As proof of their unquestionable skill and journalistic acumen, I leave you with this footage of the White House Press Corps doing what they do best. I trust this will settle the argument once and for all:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

Oh, and uh … RACISTS!

What’s so wrong with free-lance wealth redistribution?

As a counterpoint to McQ’s post on the pirate incident, a humorist endeavors to predict the Obama administration’s response:

For too long, America has been too dismissive of the proud culture and invaluable contributions of the Pirate Community. Whether it is their pioneering work with prosthetics, husbandry of tropical birds or fanciful fashion sense, America owes a deep debt to Pirates.

The past eight years have shown a failure to appreciate the historic role of these noble seafarers. Instead of celebrating their entreprenuerial spirit and seeking to partner with them to meet common challenges, there have been times where America has shown arrogance and been dismissive, even derisive.

Finally, to all pirates listening to international broadcasts, shortwave services and ship-to-shore radio, let me say this:

Ahoy, me regret arr relationship has set sail in a scurvy manner. Arr people share many mutual ‘alues and concerns on t’ raging main. Perchance, could ye handsomely release the cap’n o’ the ship and I assure that no harm will come t’ ye or ye hearties.

Well, it’s no sillier than thinking you can solve a problem created by too much debt by going a whole lot further in debt.

Toy Design Fail

I‘m not precisely sure what was going through the designer’s mind here.  But, whatever it was…it was wrong.

Epic Fail

Epic Fail

I’m reminded a bit of the dark, alternate-universe, Spiderman comic from 2007, Spiderman: Reign, in which it is revealed that Peter Parker killed MJ, his wife, through the release of radioactive…uh…reproductive cells.  That’s kind of odd and probably not particularly suitable for children reading comic books.  But, wait, it gets better!

Peter Parker addresses the body of his dead wife with this tortured monologue:

Oh God, I’m sorry! The doctors didn’t understand how it happened! How you had been poisoned by radioactivity! How your body slowly became riddled with cancer! I did. I was… I am filled with radioactive blood. And not just blood. Every fluid. Touching me… loving meLoving me killed you!

Perhaps the writers might have slipped by with a PG-13 rating if they had stopped there.  But, unfortunately, Parker adds:

Like a spider, crawling up inside your body and laying a thousand eggs of cancer… I killed you.

Now, that’s just creepy.

(H/T: Samizdata)