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The Christmas Parade
Posted by: Dale Franks on Sunday, December 11, 2005

Today was the 55th annual Jaycees Christmas Parade in the town of Escondido, California, where I live. Naturally, I was there to take pictures...

EHS STEP Kids
These are some of the kids from the EHS STEP program. I'm not sure what the STEP program is, but I think it's a deal for troubled youths. If so, I'm a little dubious about the ultimate success of a program that dresses kids up in military camouflage fatigues, and teaches them how to skillfully wield wooden batons. Seems to me like there are more useful, less...uh...aggressive skill sets that you might want to inculcate into troubled youths.

Pony Wagon
What's the point of torturing tiny little horses by making them tow larger, heavier humans in wooden and iron coaches. I mean, you wouldn't hook up a coach and four with rottweilers, would you?

Vista Drill Team
Every drill team and baton twirling group in North County was represented at the parade, including this Drill Team from Vista, CA. As you can see from the picture, they aren't actually a precision drill team.

Chinese New Year Group
These are the representatives of the San Diego Chinese New Year celebration. All the girls were fine, but this guy...well, his relationship with China looks a bit tangential.

Happy fun girl
She looks really pleased to be taking part in the parade, doesn't she?

The Young Lasso Master
This little guy could work magic with that rope. He was part of the local Caballeros. Or Vaqueros. I know that Central/South American cowboys are called one of those two things.

Another little caballero
Here's another little caballero. Or vaquero. Or whatever. I just know that he makes a cute picture.

Baton twirler
There's a thin line between a toothy, happy smile and the strained grimace of a tired little girl who's wishing she'd never picked up a damn baton in the first place.

Army Recuiter
Sergeant Blevis, an Army recruiter, shows off the new Army camouflage uniform. That makes it official, by the way. We now have completely different camouflage uniforms for every branch of the US military. One also notes that Sergeant Blevis appears to have been issued with a little extra girth and a few more chins than your average army recruiter.

Leaky Low Rider
When you're going to represent your cool low-rider club publicly to the citizens of your fair city, you may want to do a quick run-through of the maintenance checklist the day before the parade. Just a suggestion.

North County Scot
The North County Scots Association was represented, with everyone in authentic kilt and sporran. The Santa hat is an understandable anachronism. Being of Scots extraction myself, I have been known to don a plaid skirt and knee-high socks myself. Let's face it, you have to be a real man to be willing to dress up like a Catholic Schoolgirl in public.

Or trolling for sailors.

Gift Costumes
It's probably because of my background of 10 years in Law Enforcement, dealing with your scumbags and pervs, but still, I gotta say, dressing up children like delightful little gifts to be opened probably isn't the best way to escape the attention of pedophiles.

Polish-American Club
This is the Escondido Polish-American Social Club. All five of 'em. And, unlike the Scots, only two of them could be bothered to dress in traditional costumes. That's a pretty sad display of ethnic pride, if you ask me. Also, I wasn't previously aware that Sioux tomahawk was part of the traditional Polish accouterments.

 Scoutmaster
Note to Scoutmaster Bob: Painting an old broom handle yellow and gluing a BSA logo to it does not actually constitute making a "traditional frontier walking stick". Good Lord, man, you're supposed to be a role model. At least make an effort.

Traditional Mexican Dancers
I love the color and motion of the traditional Mexican dance costumes. The addition of the ancient Mayan gafas de sol1 are a nice touch.

Man and doll
I appreciate the courage it takes to parade your Jenna Jameson blow-up doll in public by sitting her on your lap as you drive a parade float tractor through the middle of downtown. Don't be ashamed of who you are.

Escondido Police Officer
Now, here's one for the ladies. A manly, sharply uniformed, motorcycle patrol officer, sitting astride his iron steed; his thighs rippling in the tight blue uniform pants; his firm, pert buttocks perched on the soft leather seat. And look at that pistol he's got strapped to that butch gunbelt. My, it's a big one, isn't it?

Escondido Firemen
Are the police too threatening? Perhaps too...forceful? Well, there's always firemen. All the danger and macho you could possibly want, packed into their trim, muscled torsos, yet the sensitivity of a strong man who's mission is to save others. Aren't they just dreamy?

Uh, I mean, don't you ladies think they're dreamy?

Well, I think that gives you a little taste of what the Christmas parade is like in my sleepy little California town.
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Previous Comments to this Post 

Comments
Your snide, sniggering, drippingly pessimistic commentary on this little local parage was exactly the kind of uplifting inspiration I needed this morning to overcome the negativity that pervades MSM reporting.

Looks like it’s beginning to taint the Alternative Media now.
 
Written By: Cayute Kitt
URL: http://
The Step Team is a sort of dance team, but it’s more modeled after the musical "Stomp". They’re very percussive and rhythmic. Our school has a Step Team and they’re supposed to be pretty good - they win competitions and the like, but I confess I’ve only ever seen them at the pep rallies.
 
Written By: Wulf
URL: http://www.atlasblogged.com

I mean, you wouldn’t hook up a coach and four with rottweilers, would you?
Au contraire.
 
Written By: Dave Schuler
URL: http://www.theglitteringeye.com
Your snide, sniggering, drippingly pessimistic commentary on this little local parage was exactly the kind of uplifting inspiration I needed this morning to overcome the negativity that pervades MSM reporting.

Looks like it’s beginning to taint the Alternative Media now.
Oh. Well, then, let me fix that:

George W. Bush is a genius! Iraq is turning into a tranquil land of happy bunnies and fuzzy kitties under his divinely inspired leadership! The Republican Party is the party of Jeeeezus!

Happy now?

In the future, if you want happy, fun blogging, may I suggest you bookmark Hugh Hewitt? That way, you’ll never have to see anything that disturbs or challenges you.

Oh, and just to set the record record straight, "snide, sniggering, drippingly pessimistic commentary" has been a paert of the blogosphere from the very beginning. You ever hear of "fisking"?

Oh, and finlly, complaining about someone else’s use of humor serves merely to make you look like a humorless churl. This kind of reminds me of when I was stationed in Europe, and hardly a week would go by without some humor-impaired field grade officer writing a letter to the Stars and Stripes demanding that Doonesbury be stricken from the paper because Gary Trudeau was insufficiently servile to Presidents Reagan or Bush I, or calling for Beetle Baily to be stricken from their pages because of its negative portrayal of modern army life.

I thought those people were humorless churls, too.
 
Written By: Dale Franks
URL: http://www.qando.net
Let’s face it, you have to be a real man to be willing to dress up like a Catholic Schoolgirl in public.
I always thought that it was the Catholic schoolgirls who were dressing up like real men. Not the other way round. :)
 
Written By: PogueMahone
URL: http://
Actually....they SELL those "walking sticks" in the official BSA Scout shops! *chuckling*
 
Written By: Bob Forsythe
URL: http://
Dale,

Given that you wrote:

"Now, here’s one for the ladies. A manly, sharply uniformed, motorcycle patrol officer, sitting astride his iron steed; his thighs rippling in the tight blue uniform pants; his firm, pert buttocks perched on the soft leather seat. And look at that pistol he’s got strapped to that butch gunbelt. My, it’s a big one, isn’t it?"

I want to write response which encapsulates the look on Mr. Horse’s face in the Ren and Stimpy episode where the dog and cat’s neighbor look in on the cat in nurse uniform giving the chihuahua a sponge bath...

...as opposed to the look on Mr. Horse appearing in this segment, of course.

Thanks, TDP, ml, msl, & pfpp
 
Written By: Tom Perkins
URL: http://

 
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