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I want to Govern Your Company
Posted by: Dale Franks on Thursday, February 09, 2006

The pay for corporate board members has mushroomed.
At a time when many Americans are facing steep pay cuts as their jobs get outsourced, life has never been sweeter around the polished mahogany tables in corporate board rooms.

Corporate directors at S&P 500 companies got hefty 20% pay hikes last year, according to Equilar, a consulting firm that tracks executive compensation. The median pay for those directors was $139,000, Equilar says.
Being a good libertarian, I'd never want to have a low-work, high-paid job in the public sector.

But as long as you're paying $139k for attending 6-12 board meetings per year in the private sector, I am available for service on the board of your company. Please feel free to contact me as, for 139k per annum, I feel sure that, with my experience, I'd be a valuable addition to your board meetings.

P.S. No. Really. I'm serious.

P.P.S. Did I mention I've written a book on economics? I'm the perfect board member!
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Previous Comments to this Post 

I’ll take the job for 138k.

Next bid.
Written By: SkyWatch
URL: http://
Have you published a book on economics, loser? Ha! I thought not! You don’t have a chance, even with your pathetically lowball bid.
Written By: Dale Franks
Although I have not written a book on economics, I have read several. I feel this qualifies me to offer my services for 100k. After all, if politicians are qualified(e.g. Henry Hyde) , who isn’t?
Written By: timactual
URL: http://
I have noticed this before, too, how it seemed like a niiiice job.

I’ll do it for 500k a year, but I will also backscratch and hand you some nice salary and options.
Written By: Harun
URL: http://
Experience and qualifications are overrated. I’d bring panache to your business! That has to be worth, what, at least 125k?
Written By: Jon Henke
LOSERS, LOSERS all of you! I will do it for $120,000 AND I am PERFECTLY qualified for the job, BECAUSE I have absolutely NO knowledge of economics! Yes the CEO/COO and/or the CFO can come in with ANY business plan and I will LIKE it! Now you tell me, what CEO wouldn’t LOVE to have ME on his Board?

You all talk as if knowing someting about the business or profit and loss makes you MORE qualified, when in reality, it makes you LESS qualified. You might argue with managment, me I’ll merely nod my head and draw my cheque.
Written By: Joe
URL: http://
Well, I’ve read Dale’s book, plus I could help if one of the other members has a cardiac arrest during a board meeting. It would be a salary increase, and I wouldn’t have to take call. I’ll keep my cell phone on for any offers.
Written By: Galen
One thing that has made candidates much more reluctant to serve has been the potential personal liability for decisions made by the board.

Typically, people selected for the board of a public company are quite well off already and they have a lot to lose if they get sued.

In general, I’m sure it is a pretty nice gig, but the downside is significant when things go wrong. For most of our history this was not an issue, but with the advent of high profile failures such as Enron, Worldcom, Adelphia et al, the downside for a board member is not trivial.
Written By: Kurt Brouwer
URL: http://
In general, I’m sure it is a pretty nice gig, but the downside is significant when things go wrong. For most of our history this was not an issue, but with the advent of high profile failures such as Enron, Worldcom, Adelphia et al, the downside for a board member is not trivial.
That had nothing to do with corporate failure, but with corporate crime. So long as board members avoid fraud and ’creative’ accounting practices, they have absolutely no risk whatsoever.

That being said, you guys don’t know how to negotiate. I’ll do the job for $300k and I will help run the company into the ground. I’m a shoe-in. ;)
Written By: Rosensteel
URL: http://
Henry Hyde was on the board of a company a few years ago( we need to give those poor congresscritters a raise so they don’t need to hold down two jobs) which ran into some legal problems. As I remember it, when asked about his responsibility he declared that it was absurd to hold him in any way responsible for the policies or actions of the company. I still find it hilarious.
Written By: timactual
URL: http://

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