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Random Reflections on a beautiful sunny day
Posted by: McQ on Saturday, June 03, 2006

Ever notice how, when you're mowing the lawn, you have all this time to think and sometime in the course of doing the back lawn, you finally figure out how to solve the world hunger or the Iran problem, but by the time you finish, you forget?

Happens to me all the time.

I also think about more mundane things like why the damn birds use my deck as a poop-a-torium. What's with that? They sit on the deck rails contemplating their day and just let it go? Streaks of white everywhere. My deck is the beautiful cedar red with white streaks. I dunno, maybe they just like the contrast.

All wives think their husbands are idiots. It's a simple truth, but a profound one. I walk toward the garage in wet and muddy shoes and my wife says "make sure you take off your shoes and clean off your feet before you come in the house." Like I was going to do otherwise. Like I've ever done otherwise in the 30 years I've been married to her. But I'm sure she thinks that is because she has managed to catch me everytime just before I did that.

I hate plants. You buy 'em, plant 'em, water 'em, feed 'em, care for them and what do you get? One day you walk outside feeling pretty good and the damn thing is dead. Yup, yesterday it looked fine, today, dead as a door knob. It's almost as if there are a certain percentage of plants created who's job it is to ruin some poor guy's day. And when that happiness vibe happy humans give off gets to a certain level, blam .... they keel right over. Rotten bastages.

We have deer who wander in and out of our property. Lots of oak so they have plenty of acorns. So they graze. And they also eat my plants. Like they ate some little varigated plant who's name I can't remember. And they also ate some other damn plant who's name I can't remember. And the reason I can't remember their names is they never get big enough to notice, because? Because the damn deer eat them. And every year, without fail, I manage to find, buy and plant another new plant that they seem to just love. Apparently I'm a certified deer dietician.

It is the annual June bug round up. Japanese beetles if you prefer. To bait or not to bait. I tried bait one year with the cute little sack and they ate my stuff anyway. Mostly my river birches. So I thought, what the heck, I'll do it without bait, let my neighbors use their bait and hopefully the bugs will go over to their property and eat their stuff. Well they did, and they ate my stuff too. So I get this super-duper, mix-it-and-pour-it-around-your-trees, guaranteed-to-work-and-protect-your-trees-from insects for 12 months (to include June bugs) stuff. It says mix it according to instructions, pour it around your trees and in two weeks no June bug will want any part of it.

Well no kidding, because in one week all the leaves start turning yellow and falling off.

I love nature.

But I'm not real fond of Home Depot's garden section right now.
 
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Ever notice how, when you’re mowing the lawn, you have all this time to think and sometime in the course of doing the back lawn, you finally figure out how to solve the world hunger or the Iran problem, but by the time you finish, you forget?
Walking the dogs... Especially the late night ones under crystal clear Rocky Mountain skys. Sans Nobel Peace prize, at least it was a heck of a walk...
 
Written By: bains
URL: http://
As for the yard... if it werent for the weeds, I’d have no green!
 
Written By: bains
URL: http://
You have seriously frightened me with the level of detail that seems to overlap within our two lives. I have considered each of the items you mentioned this past week.
 
Written By: JWG
URL: http://
"But I’m sure she thinks that is because she has managed to catch me everytime just before I did that."

You nailed it.
 
Written By: Unknown
URL: http://
And how do they always manage to put the tool you need in some place that is perfectly logical, provided that you live in some alternate reality? Why not routinely put tools close to where they’re likely to be used? My wife is not happy unless all the tools are place in the ’right’ place, which is always nowhere near where I’ll be using them.
 
Written By: JorgXMcKie
URL: http://
"My wife is not happy unless all the tools are place in the ’right’ place, which is always nowhere near where I’ll be using them"

Actually they will be exactly where you want them, once, for about two weeks, until the next reorganization or cleaning cycle. Eventually everything, especially furniture, will be everywhere for at least a week.
 
Written By: timactual
URL: http://
Get some chickens (law permitting, of course) to take care of the June bugs. Heck, as kids we use to catch the June bugs and throw them into the chicken coop and watch the chickens go after them.

 
Written By: Bill
URL: http://
OMG! if only a deer would wander onto my property. I’d have that sucka on a grill in no time. BTW, my wife thinks I am an idiot, but she thinks I am a damm sexy idiot.
 
Written By: kyle N
URL: http://impudent.blognation.us/blog
JorgXMcKie, that’s exactly the opposite of what we have in our house. I’m always trying to put things away where they’re used and according to the frequency of when they are used. My husband is the one who constantly "organizes" in ways that make life more difficult. He will spend hours putting the cans of the least commonly used food in front of cans of the most commonly used food, because then they are sorted by size and/or color. He’ll arrange my business’ products so that the most often ordered items are underneath bins of the least ordered. My sewing scissors end up in a box underneath piles of the fabric I need to cut. He also has been known to sort laundry by type of clothing (pants, shirts, etc) rather than by color, although after I spent many tedious nagging sessions explaining this concept to him and showing him how even brand new white shirts can turn pink when washed with red dry-clean-only tops, he eventually was converted. But I still haven’t been able to adequately explain to him the principle of organizing according to use.

McQ, of course your wife thinks you’re an idiot. This is because she’s really smart and you don’t do everything her way. But if you do everything her way, she’ll think you’re a moron. Idiot or moron: take your pick. ;)

If it makes you feel any better, my grandma once sent my grandpa to the store to get fat-free ice cream when they had been married 40 years. He came back with sugar-free ice cream because it was on sale and the fat-free wasn’t. After trying to explain to him that not all "-free" ice cream is the same, she turns to us grandkids and says, "Forty years I’ve been sending that man to the store, you’d think I’d learn!" And they loved each other very, very much, and for several more years she was able to unsuccessfully send him to the store, until he passed away last December.
 
Written By: Wacky Hermit
URL: http://organicbabyfarm.blogspot.com
I wonder if you could get the deer to develope a taste for June bugs.
Have all the kids in the neighborhood make June bugs pets. Tie a string to them and fly them around, like I did a hundred years ago.
 
Written By: VRB
URL: http://
McQ,
As a new homeowner here in ATL, I’ve been forced to learn most of these things the hard way. "Oh, my beautiful grass is now a dirt patch? I guess I should have aerated it and bagged the clippings instead of mulched..."

I’m finally starting to learn enough that if I plant something, it’s got at least a 25% chance of surviving. Hell, I’ve toyed with the idea of planting kudzu. Sure, it might be the devil-spawn of all plants here, but at least it won’t die, right ;-)

It really sucks that I have this beautiful yard, that I have big plans for what I want to do to improve it. But 90% of my time and effort is just spent on maintenance, so it doesn’t all go to sh*t, which means I get far too tired to actually complete the projects I *want* to do...
 
Written By: Brad Warbiany
URL: http://unrepentantindividual.com/
It really sucks that I have this beautiful yard, that I have big plans for what I want to do to improve it. But 90% of my time and effort is just spent on maintenance, so it doesn’t all go to sh*t, which means I get far too tired to actually complete the projects I *want* to do...
Ahh! the joys of being a happy homeowner.
 
Written By: kyle N
URL: http://impudent.blognation.us/blog
Enjoyed the reflection.

About the birds, try some Tanglefoot from your nursery it works great for disruption of the squirrel highway on my fence rails.

Before installing deer proof fencing, I used "Deer Scram" with very satifactory results.

http://www.nurseryman.com/searchdata/www-deerscram-com.html
 
Written By: Hutch
URL: http://
Brad
Try planting some kind of mint. Great stuff, the only weed I’ve been able to turn loose on the other weeds and accomplish something with. The one plant the city can run over with their mowers in the creek(ditch) out back and STILL come back, and all that despite being abused by (normal Texas) drought conditions.
I originally planted it so I could make Mojito’s and Mint Julips.

My wife, who is obviously related to everyone else’s wives here, or went to wife school with them....made me take it out of her flower garden, so I set it free out back of the fence.
 
Written By: looker
URL: http://
Brad,

Try more topsoil, fertilizer and Bermuda grass. You may have that notorius Georgia red clay not too far below the surface. You should have your soil tested.
 
Written By: VRB
URL: http://

 
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