Jon Henke
Bruce "McQ" McQuain
Dale Franks
Bryan Pick
Billy Hollis
Lance Paddock


Recent Posts
The Ayers Resurrection Tour
Special Friends Get Special Breaks
One Hour
The Hope and Change Express - stalled in the slow lane
Michael Steele New RNC Chairman
Things that make you go "hmmmm"...
Oh yeah, that "rule of law" thing ...
Putting Dollar Signs in Front Of The AGW Hoax
Moving toward a 60 vote majority?
Do As I Say ....
QandO Newsroom

Newsroom Home Page

US News

US National News

International News

Top World New
Iraq News
Mideast Conflict


Blogpulse Daily Highlights
Daypop Top 40 Links


Regional News


News Publications

Who’s Your Daddy?
Posted by: Dale Franks on Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Well, uh, I guess I am. At least for one needful little girl.

Due to a set of family circumstances too unfortunate and complicated to relate in any detail, I will, within the next few days, and with almost no preparation at at all, become the de facto father of a 7 year-old little girl. The Lovely Christine's little grand-daughter, Lexie, will be coming to live with us for at least the remainder of the 2006-2007 school year.

If I were able to recount the circumstances that require this bright, sweet little girl to come live with us, it would anger you beyond reason and/or reduce you to helpless weeping.

In any event, after a lifetime of vowing to remain childless—mainly so I could afford to buy any cool toy that caught my eye—I will be thrust, without warning or preparation, into the role of quasi-fatherhood. But, there is absolutely no way that I can morally do anything else. This poor child desperately needs a stable, structured family life, and, at the moment, only The Lovely Christine and I can provide her with it.

Her father—Chris' son—would like nothing more than to step up and fulfill the role of fatherhood, but literally cannot at the present time. And her mother...well, let's just say that her lack of mothering ability is the reason Chris and I must step in to help raise this child. At the end of the day, given my druthers, I would prefer to remain childless. But I would be nothing less than a scoundrel and a cad if I were to reject the requirement to serve in loco parentis for this lovely little child, in a time of such desperate need.

I assume that most of you "have a god, or gods, or some such beliefs which comfort you"1. So, as you lay down to sleep at night and speak to Jehovah, or Wotan, or whoever, I beg you to remember Chris and I in your prayers, devotions, or other ritualistic chantings.

And, if Chris and I should be required to raise Lexie until adulthood, and should you live in Southern California and have a son of about 7 years of age who might be in a position to meet and/or date the almost painfully beautiful Lexie eight or nine years hence, you should especially remember him in you prayers. You should, specifically, pray that he never meets me, or worse, incurs my wrath.
1 OK, this is an easy one. From whence does this particular quote originate?
Return to Main Blog Page

Previous Comments to this Post 

Quote: Trek, TOS, episode 3 of the first season... The Fesarius, if I’m not mistaken.

You’re making the best of a bad situation, Dale. My respects, sir.
Written By: Bithead
URL: http://
I have been there and done that Dale. Two different times. Of course one of the times he ended up staying 18 years and I consider him my oldest son. I could not be prouder or happier about the way that decision turned out.

Good luck.
Written By: Lance
I wish you good fortune, and I shall include you and yours in my superstitious rites..
Written By: timactual
URL: http://
As the proud father of a soon to be 8 year old girl, I can only tell you that whatever sacrifice you make will be paid back one thousand fold. As I see the personality develop, the brain mature, and the person grow, I am amazed more and more. You are in for a change, but a change I wager you will cherish for ever!

Best of luck -
Written By: meagain
URL: http://
Your health, Sir - you do the right thing here; I too will remember you and yours when I next raise my voice in prayer to the Allmighty.
Written By: Pete Jensen
URL: http://
I don’t know whether to express sympathy with your family problems or congratulate you on stepping up to fulfill a much needed role, or both. Maybe both.

I too have an eight year old daughter, almost nine, who is going to be a great exotic beauty. I figure that gives us about seven more years in which to buy a shotgun.

If you really want tons of prayers, call your nearest LDS (Mormon) temple and ask that your name be put on the prayer roll. Anyone can do this (you don’t have to be a member) and then hundreds of Mormons will pray for you all day long, five days a week for a couple of weeks.
Written By: Wacky Hermit
I just recently became a grandpa through adoption (my wife’s daughter). She is a gorgeous little 5yo. I did not have children of my own and this is different for me. We keep her each morning till granma takes her to school at noon. I realize that having ours part time is not quite like yours coming to live with you. Full time requires much more devotion. I am realizing that I thoroughly enjoy my time with her and I hope you do to. I did not expect it to be such a wonderful experience.
Written By: Mike Roark
URL: http://
"after a lifetime of vowing to remain childless—mainly so I could afford to buy any cool toy that caught my eye—I will be thrust, without warning or preparation, into the role of quasi-fatherhood"

Trust me, they are not that expensive (until college) and, you don’t know it now but you will get more joy out of raising and shaping that child than you could ever get out of the most expensive toy out there. You and your wife are special people. Good on ya.
Written By: markm
URL: http://
A prediction—

A few months from the time your little girl shows up, you will wonder where your desire to remain childless came from. It may still make sense to you intellectually, but your heart will tell you that you’ve been wrong.

I’d make it a bet, but I don’t think anybody who knows anything about children would take me up on it.

You are about to start a wondrous adventure. Pay close attention.
Written By: Joe Miller
URL: http://
I too have an eight year old daughter, almost nine, who is going to be a great exotic beauty. I figure that gives us about seven more years in which to buy a shotgun.
No. Buy it when she gets to middle school.

Seriously. Things have changed.
Written By: OrneryWP
URL: http://
OrneryWP, in middle school I’ve still got a weight advantage over the boys. High school boys are a different story though.
Written By: Wacky Hermit
Dale, your noble behavior will bring about rewards. It will also bring about frustrations, simply because such a change in life usually does. We hear about "terrible twos", but every age has its issues. My sons are 9 and 5 and each year has given us blessings and consternation. You take the bad with the good and always remember that they are kids, they need us and that we were once imperfect kids too. Love conquers all.

And I will pray for you and Christine.
Written By: Joab
大众健康的博客 关注肝癌 健康网的blog 肝癌浅谈 健康无敌 牛皮癣博客 人与疾病 关注胃癌 共同预防疾病 关注健康 关爱生命 悯泯之音 黑色幽默 心静的白话字 最后一口 我爱电影 我爱电影 想想未来 喜剧不俗 尘埃博客 秋菠太老博客 乒乓博客 唐诗博客 免费手机铃声
Written By: afsdiuhui
URL: http://

Add Your Comment
  NOTICE: While we don't wish to censor your thoughts, we do blacklist certain terms of profanity or obscenity. This is not to muzzle you, but to ensure that the blog remains work-safe for our readers. If you wish to use profanity, simply insert asterisks (*) where the vowels usually go. Your meaning will still be clear, but our readers will be able to view the blog without worrying that content monitoring will get them in trouble when reading it.
Comments for this entry are closed.
HTML Tools:
Bold Italic Blockquote Hyperlink
Vicious Capitalism


Buy Dale's Book!
Slackernomics by Dale Franks