Democrats first 100 days, Lileks style Posted by: McQ
on Monday, October 30, 2006
Why not start the day, and week, with a little humor. Any excuse to laugh a litte, eh?
James Lileks gives his take on what a Democratic House's first 100 days would look like. He reminds us that, as Dale pointed out in an earlier post, Nancy Pelosi promised us the gavel would be in the hands of 'the children'. Lileks only asks they wipe the jam off first:
We're told the Democrats have an agenda - in the first 100 days, Congress will overturn the accumulated horrors of the Bush regime. (Except for Reagan's funeral. They'll let that stand.) A preview follows.
Day 1: Party like it's 1992; citizenship for all Gitmo detainees; a blanket amnesty; and a "Circle of Healing" ceremony held on the Capitol steps.
Day 2: The troops in Iraq will leave, walking in reverse, as if someone is playing the tape backwards; special construction brigades will quickly repair all the buildings destroyed since the 2003 invasion; and the last American out will reinstall Saddam. Thereafter, whenever someone criticizes America for invading Iraq, we'll look quizzical and say we don't know what they're talking about.
Day 3: Bush tax cuts repealed, so the upper 10 percent in income pay 67 percent of all federal taxes instead of 66 percent. That will make all the difference.
Day 4: Peace Corps sent en masse to Middle East to apologize personally to everyone and hand out gas-soaked flags and matchbooks. Burn one on us! Don't you love us now?
Day 5: Peace Corps Hostage Negotiation Unit commissioned.
Day 6: Gay marriage legalized by congressional voice vote, so no one has to go on record. (This allows gay Democratic congressmen to vote no without being outed.)
Days 7-100: Impeachment hearings. Sure, Pelosi has said she's against them. But as she promised: The children will be in charge. They're cranky if they don't get their way.