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Erica Jong and beavers and stallions (oh my!)
Posted by: McQ on Sunday, March 23, 2008

I'm sure that Erica Jong thought of this as a very serious appeal to Democrats to stop the fighting and get on with the job of defeating the GOP. She even entitled her Huff Po piece "Why Am I So Afraid".

But I have to admit to a smirky chuckle that continued to grow as I read the lead sentence in the 3rd paragraph:
We have two great candidates—one a hard working, never give up eager beaver, and one an inspiring, heart-leapingly brilliant stallion.
Ye gods, Ms. Jong ... you couldn't have come up with better comparisons than that for each candidate? I admit to having a crude sense of humor at times, but it seems obvious that these references are just too laughingly blatant for me to overlook in a supposed serious piece about disunity and the bad old GOP.

And in fact Jong spends a lot of time telling us how bad the GOP is - she cleverly calls them the "Grand Old Plutocrats" - before she finally gets around to enlightening us about why she even more cleverly chose to use "beaver" and "stallion" to characterize her party's "two great candidates:"
We need beavers and we need stallions. Beavers get the work done. Stallions inspire us. And they both have limitations. Stallions have fragile legs (think Barbaro). And beavers are nothing without their teeth.
I'm coughing at this point - you know when you laugh so darn hard you hit a coughing fit? Yeah, "teeth" and "fragile legs" - I was toast at that point, coughing toast.

What was she drinking when she wrote this for heaven sake? As an aside, is this what happens when famous writers don't go through editors first?

Anyway, as if knowing the condition I'd be in, she takes one last stab at stopping my heart through excessive mirth:
So let's stop talking about race and gender and let the beaver and the stallion both serve our country—in their own inimitable ways.
Oh lets.

OK, I need a break after that - thank you Erica Jong for the best laugh fit I've had in many a moon. I needed it. My guess is there's a children's book in there somewhere.
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Previous Comments to this Post 

Honestly, what else did you expect from the woman who brought us the "zipless f—-"?
Written By: CR
URL: http://
I saw that one myself, Bruce, but couldn’t stop laughing long enough to get a paragraph out. My compliments, sir, for having more strength than I, there.

Written By: Bithead
Besides the Jongianisms, you’ve just inflicted on me the image of Hillary as a buck toothed...nerd. God will get you for that.

And isn’t one problem with Hillary the perception that she’s suppressed her—shall we say, her inner beaver?
Written By: kishnevi
URL: http://
I wrestled with relating what I found so funny, and have decided to do so.... The concept that Jong may have gotten her assessment backwards...
Written By: Bithead
Doesn’t she know that beavers and teeth conjure up the worst nightmares possible for the males of our species?

I have no idea what she was talking about, I am just too horrified!

Written By: Captin Sarcastic
URL: http://
Hmmm...Osama’s strong horse?

Hillary is "a beaver"? Methinks not. These days she’s more like a cornered badger ducking the stallion’s hooves and going to ground.

Time for a "West Highland White McCain Terrier" to root her out and to chew on the fetlocks of the stallion.

Ahh...anthropomorphic metaphors. :-)
Written By: RiverRat
URL: http://

You guys are all on the "Hillary as Beaver" bit and I’m trying *desperately* not to think of Obama as a Stallion.

Gender thing?
Written By: Synova
When I hear teeth and beaver, all I can think of is this...
Written By: meagain
URL: http://
We need beavers and we need stallions.
This made me think of a Team America quote, which was much better . . .

Written By: Don
URL: http://
Stallions have fragile legs...
...but really big c*cks. Just like...

Well, that’s probably far enough.
Written By: Dale Franks
"Obama as a Stallion"

Isn’t that a bit of a racist stereotype? Of course that is one stereotype that seems to get no objections.
Written By: timactual
URL: http://
Hey, I’m a girl who reads romances... stallion doesn’t *have* to have the particular, um, explicit connotations... I mean, it *does* but not necessarily that particular way. I can be more generally a picture of muscular manly virility.

Like that scene in George of the Jungle (no really) where George is playing with the horses and the pretty society girls are standing at the rail sighing and the pretty society boys walk past and say, "What is it about girls and horses?" What’s-his-face who played George was, in that scene, simply perfect.

But you know... even if stallion doesn’t have to refer to organ size, it does have to do with physical appeal and pure physical power... not brains.
Written By: Synova
IT can be... not I.

Written By: Synova
The real fun was to go into the comments. This one from RaiderGreg kind of sums it up from both sides:
The situation is hopeless. Obama supporters are foolishly unrealistic to think he can be elected President in November. But if Hillary is nominated at the convention because opinion polls clearly show the futility of an Obama candidacy, she’ll be blamed for the death of the Dream. To win in November Democrats need young independents, African Americans, Reagan Democrats, and baby boomers sick of Republican abuses. The Republicans can use the media to paint Obama as a Black Liberal Politician and McCain as very different from Bush. If Obama is nominated the Republicans win by a landslide. If Hillary is nominated she can’t win without Obama supporters’ votes, and they hate her.
Even with Erica’s ridiculous analogy trying to unite the Dems, they are picking sides and throwing rocks, no check that - boulders at each other. Stock up on popcorn, folks. The show has only just begun!

Written By: SShiell
URL: http://
Hey, if I had given Hiliary a large sum of money (i.e. anything over $5), I’d want her to fight till is was mathematically impossible, not merely mathematically improbable, for her to win.

Consider it besides the point that I haven’t willing given her a dime, but I want her to go till the end, or at least till Obama has enough votes to get the nomination.

I mean, these folks have raised over $800 million, and ignoring that I’m tired of both of them and ready for a completely new set of candidates, I think that just like American Idol, they need more votes to win it all or lose it all.

Anything less would be un-American.
Written By: Neo
URL: http://

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