One Of These Things Is Not Like The Others Posted by: MichaelW
on Monday, September 15, 2008
Can you guess, without hovering over the links, which one these posts is serious?
1. Palin was "born" in Sandpoint, Idaho - but for murky reasons fled to Alaska - a well-timed move considering that only a decade or so later, Sandpoint would become a destination for like-minded travelers called the Aryan Nations. The organization claims to have disbanded in 2001 - a "fact" Palin might want us to believe, as she made more than several visits back to Idaho - for what observers call "schooling." Not necessarily an advocate of "white power," it is safe to say that Palin is white, and full of power.
That's what some skeptics might call "convenient."
2. On the campaign trail, Sarah Palin likes to brag about how she put the Alaska state jet on eBay and fired the governor's personal chef. One item that doesn't appear in her stump speech, however, is the personal tanning bed Palin had installed in the governor's mansion.
This morning NarcoNews reported that that a tanning bed had been installed in the governor's official residence in 2007, sourcing a Department of Transportation employee familiar with renovations at the mansion. This evening, Politico's Ben Smith reported that Palin had paid for the tanning bed with her own money.
Now, Palin's own gubernatorial spokesman Bill McCallister has confirmed to XXXXXXXXX that a tanning bed had been installed in the governor's official residence in 2007, and that it wasn't paid for with state funds.
"She paid for it herself," McCallister told XXXXXXXXX. "It was surplus from a local athletic club."
The news of Palin's luxurious purchase — beds can cost as much as $35,000 — presents a sharp contrast to the blue-collar persona she projects on the campaign trail.
3. "As a mainstream conservative Catholic of conscience, I am shocked and disgusted by all of the suggestions of Palin family baby-snatching and witchcraft and shape-shifting that I've been reading about in my columns. How can we really know that Bristol's new baby isn't actually the result of an incestuous prenatal affair between Trig and his probably-aborted missing twin sister during Bristol's still secret pregnancy last year? How many heads does it have? Is this new baby itself pregnant, or possibly wearing a tiny rubber pregnancy suit as a distraction from other Palin family pregnancy scandals? Americans need to know the truth whether this fetal mutant is Palin's grandchild, great-great-grandchild, or double-grandcousin uncle in-law twice removed. To clear this up, we needs to see the DNA analysis and notarized photos of Bristol's hoo-hah. Well, not "me" "we". I guess I'll have to take your word for it because I personally find lady hoo-hahs disgusting. Until then, I'll be withholding judgement, and fellating my beagle, which is a great technique I discovered for dealing with conspiracy writer's block."
Did you figure it out? Well, whoever gets the right answer wins a ... COOKIE! Unless, of course, there are no cookies in your abode, in which case you can have the rest of the whipped cream in that can in the back of the fridge.
No not that one, that's full ... further back ... behind the jar full of olive juice and one olive. Yeah, that half empty one missing the cap, and the crusty nozzle. That's the one.
No, no, no - you don’t understand: The story about John Edwards’ haircuts was serious. The story about the tannning bed is so freaking sexist, it must be unserious. After all, everyone knows that making fun of politicans who spend money to make themselves look better only works on Democrats. Republicans, by contrast, just roll out of bed and head to work.
But this is part of the meta-message. After the SNL clip, the word is out: Sarah is a cadet. A trainable, partisan, and telegencially friendly cadet, but still a cadet.
The bloom is off the rose. McCain would have been better off announcing her selection on October 25.
The tanning bed story is not about the money spent on the bed. It’s about the narrative that the SNL clip has thrown out there. The power of SNL in reinforcing such a narrative is impressive these days, given the diffusion of the media.
The tanning bed story works on several levels. First, it makes Palin look like a bimbo. Sorry, but it does. That is the point of the story.
Second, tanning beds can be dangerous. Shows a lack of judgment. Why take the chance of hurting your skin with one of these things?
Third, of course, it makes Plain look shallow and obssessed with looks. Ask Edwards how that worked out.
Fourth, she has four kids living at home. Who has time for a tanning bed with that many kids? Most parents don’t get enough time in a real bed. Oh, and did I mention, that she is also the government of Alaska? From what we are supposed to believe, she is really busy at this job.
Like I said, this story may seem trivial. And on one level it is. But memes get created real quickly. The notion that Sarah is ambitious but a little bit of an airhead is fast gaining currency. And the tanning bed story is like frosting on the cake.
Palin, who is refered to by the Narco News as a "Pioneer of the Great Indoors" declared May 2007 to be Skin Cancer Awareness Month in Alaska. In the press release, it read, "Skin cancer is caused, overwhelmingly, by over-exposure to ultraviolet radiation from the sun and from tanning beds.”
No, wait, it gets better:
Skin Cancer Awareness Month Skin cancer is the most common cancer in the world and its incidence is increasing at the highest rate of any type of cancer. According to the American Academy of Dermatology, more than 1.3 million new cases are diagnosed in the United States every year. Melanoma-the deadliest form of skin cancer-kills one person every hour in the United States and is the third most commonly diagnosed form of cancer among women ages 25-45 and second most commonly diagnosed form of cancer among men of this age group. Skin cancer is caused, overwhelmingly, by over-exposure to ultraviolet radiation from the sun and from tanning beds. It is largely preventable. In fact, 95percent of skin cancers are preventable if we properly protect ourselves from UV rays. Eighty percent of one’s lifetime sun damage occurs before age 18. It is imperative that we instill sun safety behavior among our children at an early age and thus incorporate sun safety education in our public educational system. The Cancer Crusaders Organization, an award-winning nonprofit skin cancer education facility and the proud home of the National Skin Cancer Awareness Symbol, strongly urges all Americans to become proactively engaged in efforts to protect children and young adults from this common, yet preventable, disease. The Organization further asks for the enthusiastic and proactive support of our educators, health professionals and leaders to support initiatives and other such efforts to encourage sun-safe practices among our community, and thereby significantly reduce skin cancer incidence and mortality throughout the United States and thus improve the overall quality of life. NOW, THEREFORE, I, Sarah Palin, Governor of the State of Alaska, do hereby proclaim May 2007, as: Skin Cancer Awareness Month in Alaska, and urge all Alaskans to become proactively engaged in efforts to protect our children and young adults from this common, yet preventable disease. Dated: May 4, 2007
Oddly enough, I have worked with a company that manufactures tanning beds.
Many of them are equipped with lower wattage bulbs which emit 1/4 of he UVB light.
Exposure to UVB light in in certain spectrums leads to production of vitamin D in the skin. Vitamin D is important for a number of human functions, including the maintenance of normal blood levels of phosphorus and calcium and the promotion of healthy bones. Studies have shown that many people don’t get enough of the vitamin, which may even aid in the prevention of cancer and diabetes.
(Hint to mk: Alaska has no sun for 6 months out of the year.)
Tanning beds are useful medically to help treat Seasonal Affective Disorder.
Tanning Beds are used medically to treat certain skin conditions.
Tanning beds are useful medically to provide deep heating for muscle aches and arthritis.
Hmm, mk. Might do some research before parroting the latest liberal pseudo-smear. People laugh at you less when you don’t set yourself up to look foolish.
And as to "What does she use it for" - if Oral Sex in the oval office on our dime is none of our business, I guess a tanning bed on her dime is none either, eh wot?
Give the left time: pretty soon that fact that Palin was born in Idaho (land of potatoes and militia!) WILL be used against her in some way. Hey, it’s no more shallow than attacking her for buying a tanning bed! And I recall the MSM using Schwarzenegger’s Austrian birth (land of strudel and Hitler!) against him.
I just really, really wonder if this sort of this will sway anybody to vote against her. I mean, who the hell looks at a candidate and says to himself, "That tears it! I could NEVER vote for somebody who owns a tanning bed! I’m voting for Obama!"
Congratulations! I was waiting for someone to make that suggestion. If you want to win the cookie, though, you have guess which mkultra post is the fake one, if any. For now you just get the olive.
Congratulations! I was waiting for someone to make that suggestion. If you want to win the cookie, though, you have guess which mkultra post is the fake one, if any. For now you just get the olive.
great imitations. I am waiting for someone to create a simple (wouldn’t have to be complicated based on how he writes) automated leftobot that mimics him.
